My hope is found in Jesus, NOT Dr. Phil

Thought of the day; Fasting Hopelessness

My hope is found in Jesus, NOT in Dr. Phil

I am once again reminded that my hope is found in Jesus and not in anything of this world. 

I must admit, back in December when the Dr. Phil show called to invite my daughter Maddie on their show, that we had finally  found hope.

 Hope for medical care to help our daughter finally process her past trauma and grief. 

This week we were told that her treatment plan had ended. They feel like they have done all they can do to help her. Her treatment plan was learning how to breathe correctly to manage her anxiety. I was happy with this plan in the beginning because we thought this was necessary for her to learn to manage her anxiety and get to the next step. She was in desperate need of counseling that would help get to the root of the problem. Her trauma needed to be healed not managed for the rest of her life.

 I am very disappointed in how they cared for Maddie and her pain with such disregard. Looking back I see that they only wanted to show what unprocessed grief could look like if not dealt with and healed. They had no intentions of rolling up their sleeves to help her get to the root of the problem.

Which brings me to this... In the world of mental health, most doctors teach patients to deal with the symptoms. What I have learned with the "Great Physician, Jesus", is that He wants to get to the root of the problem. Dealing with the symptoms keep us in bondage. We must go back to the pain with Jesus and sometimes a trusted counselor to allow Him to give us healing and a different prospective. When we do this He gives us a perspective to live with the circumstances we can not change. 

With all this being said, I do believe that nothing is wasted with God. I believe He allowed the past events to occur that will produce good if I place it in His hands. I am reminded again that my hope is not found in this world. I confess that I was shifting my focus and placing my hope in Dr. Phil more than Jesus these past months. Lesson learned... Lord, forgive me for placing my hope in anything but you. I repent and ask that you forgive me. Now, Lord show me your hope for the daughter you love way more than I ever could this side of heaven. 

Help me refocus on you.. our only hope, our only deliverer, our great restorer. 

Our journey continues. I must settle on the fact that He did not want to restore her through the Dr. Phil show.  I am reminded of what He told me at the beginning of this journey. He said,

"The LORD himself will fight for you. Just stay calm."- Exodus 14:14

So, until I see her living in freedom I know He's still working it all out! 

The journey Continues.. and I know it's going somewhere good if He's in control. 

My Hope as a mother

Thought of the day: Fasting Hopelessness

My hope as a mother

I don't have to be perfect

just simply surrendered


I remember the first time I simply surrendered to Christ. 
It was moments after my sweet Jack went home to be with Jesus.
I was not aware at that time what was actually taking place in my heart. 
Looking back today, I see so clearly. 
Moments after we were told that Jack did not survive I began to pray.
My prayer was, Lord I am tired of wondering where I will go when I die. I want to settle this issue with you once and for all. Lord, I am not sure how this works.
 I just want to know from now on that I am yours
and
I am returning to my home in heaven because I want desperately to see my son again. 

 I was confessing that I was tired of trying to be perfect.
and admitted I needed a savior.

You see what brought about that prayer was the thought I had in church every Sunday before this very moment.
 The thought was, I wonder if Jesus remembers me?
I had been baptized at the age of 10 but thought the life I lived from that point on was a huge disappointment to God.
I had made many mistakes in my life and felt like God didn't really like me or even notice me.
 I just couldn't measure up.
My only hope was to remind Him each Sunday that I had been baptized as a child so my name should be on the guest list when I reach the pearly gates..right????
I was never settled with my salvation because I somehow thought I had to earn it by being perfect.
Truth is we will never be perfect. That is why we need a savior. 
I asked the Lord the other day to show me where He was that night Jack went home to heaven. He showed me a picture of Him with His arms around me holding me. He said, Julie I love you and have always loved you.. It's time you settle that once and for all. You cant earn my love. I love you simply because you are mine.. not because of what you do or what you have done. You have never disappointed me because I am never disappointed. I stand outside of time and know every detail about your life even the ones that disappoint you. Simply surrender to me and I will be the perfecter of your less than perfect life.
My hope is 
Christ in me.
I have learned that the most perfect me is me radically pursuing Jesus.. 
and it looks like this
A mother who stopped trying to be perfect 
and 
just simply surrendered to the only one who is perfect... 
Jesus

Jesus, help us surrender ..

Bring back your wonder
Bring back your song
I got it all wrong
I've pushed you down deep in my soul to long

A Prayer for the grieving heart

I wanted to share this wonderful prayer that expresses our hearts during times of grief.

written by Steve Stockman

In a week like this

LORD, we come to the end of another week 

Except that it hasn't been just another week

It has been the worst week of our lives

and even worse for some

LORD, help us to be Honest, Vulnerable, and somehow Hopeful in the reflection of our feelings.

LORD, we have been shocked

Shocked by how one tiny second can tear our lives apart

Shocked by how far humanity can fall

Shocked by how callous and painful our actions can be, how low we can stoop.

LORD, we are grieving

Grieving for the loss of lives with so much love and energy still to give

Grieving for the man and woman and child we will never be able to to hold again

Grieving that our history is so sad and twisted.

LORD, we are confused 

Confused at why this should happen

Confused about how this should happen to the innocent

Confused about where You and Faith enter into these events.

LORD, we have been angry

Angry at why we allowed our family and friends to go shopping 

Angry at how evil people could rip our world asunder

Angry that you allowed it to happen.

LORD, we are seeking

Seeking some kind of feeble consolation in the midst of our deluge of tears

Seeking some kind of Hope that good might come from this evil

Seeking your spirit, Whom Jesus called a Comforter, to whisper into our Maddening Silence.

LORD, we are squinting for Faith

Faith that the majority might have some kind of a say in the future

Faith that Love will end our Hate, Good will end our evil,

and Grace will touch our broken hearts

Faith in a God who is as angry as we are

and who is reaching out His hand to us.

LORD, we are remembering

Remembering those who today can no longer be shocked, grieved, be angry, be confused, seek or squint for faith

Remembering that you watched as your Son, covered in blood, died at the futile whim of injustice

Remembering that His death is the only thing we can grope after in the dark of a week like this.

LORD, we have planted our loved ones deep in the bloody earth of Ireland this week

We have watered them with our tears

LORD, may You allow them to be seeds of a LOVE that will grow into our Peace.

LORD, Remember us.

Amen.

The Thin Line - Steve Stockman

Hope is God can handle what I can not

Thought of the day: Fasting Hopelessness

Hope is God can handle what I can not

The statement above is a lie. 

Its a subtle lie, because it's one word that makes it a lie.

Its just how the enemy works. 

Did you know that the enemy can not "create" anything new. 

He can only manipulate what God creates. 

The enemy has no power to create and that is why he loves to subtly change truth into lies... 

with just one word. 

The saying, "God will never give you more than you can handle" comes from 

1 Corinthians 10:13

and its often misquoted.

"No temptation has overtaken you but such as is common to man; and God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will provide the way of escape also, so that you will be able to endure it.”

This verse gives us much hope, but it does not say that God will not “give you more than you can handle.” It’s talking about temptation only – that we will not be tempted beyond what we can endure. 

This is an important lesson to learn.

For people to think they are somehow protected by God from “too much” suffering is a dangerous, false teaching. In fact, He sometimes uses suffering to get our attention.

Its been my experience and saving grace that there are things in this life that I can not handle. I have sat at the door of death and wondered how am I ever going to make it to my next breath. 

Truth is if it were up to me in those moments I would have chosen to quit and go on up to heaven. I would have never made the choice to stay and endure. I can testify that not me but God in me handled those choices. 

When we admit we can not handle the hard things in life it allows God to handle them. 

I wanted to pull out my soap box this morning to debunk this lie!
 If we don't see the sublet setup for failure we will live in defeat , guilt and shame for not being strong enough or wise enough. 

Kelly Clarkson even has it half wrong

"What doesn't kill you makes you stronger"

Is only true if you were carried by God through it. 

If you still need proof, Hebrews 11:7-40 should paint a pretty good picture for you. 
My guess would be that the Hero's of faith never thought they would endure their calling if God himself didn't carry them through. 

Noah would have never known how to build a boat big enough to carry on the human race. Yet, God gave him every dimension of the boat when he depended on God.

Abraham and Sarah would have never been the parents of many nations in their own strength at 100 years of age. Only God can do that..

Joseph would have never been able to endure 13 years of prison and slavery with out God carrying him through to see his dreams come true. 

Moses would have never delivered the Israelite's from Egypt without the
"I Am" with in him. 
And there was Job, who question God, "Who are you?" and God carried him while He answered his questions.. He restored to Job more than he had lost.
And lets not forget Jesus,
who could not carry His own cross with out God carrying Him to defeat death ..
They did this together so we wouldn't have to do it alone!

I could go on, but I think you get the point. 

My hope is that we will all know the truth and it will set you free to hand over what you aren't expected to handle on your own.

I love you Jesus!

Heart

Thought of the day: Fasting Hopelessness

Hope is believing Love never fails

The picture above describes to me the battle we are in..it's over our hearts. 

The hands below are of this earth. They are the hands of the enemy constantly trying to steal away our hearts. My focus then moves to the all consuming fire that surrounds the heart. Could that be Gods love consuming protecting our hearts from the thief? In this world you will 

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away.

Hope- He's Alive

Thought of the day: Fasting Hopelessness

Hope - He's Alive

The picture above brings a smile to my heart. 

I can almost hear the words whispered sweetly to my ear by Jesus and Jack:) 

Take heart and be filled with HOPE

He's Alive 

He's gone ahead to prepare us a place where
There is 

No more death

No more sorrow

No more crying 

No more pain

"He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death' or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away."

Revelations 21:4

A wonderful new friend of mine sent this song to me in an email yesterday.

 I thought I would share:)

Let the words of this song soak into your mind, body, soul and spirit..

This is Truth!

ALIVE!  Kim Walker-Smith

You breathe Your life into my lungs

You bring to life these dry bones

I know that You’re alive

You call me one of Your own

In my heart You’ve made Your home

I know that You’re alive

I’m coming alive!

You call me one of Your own

In my heart You made Your home

I know that You’re alive

I’m coming alive! 

We will make it known

Jesus is alive!  He’s alive!

We will shout it out

Jesus is alive!  He’s alive!

To all the dry and weary souls

Take joy, take heart, be filled with hope

I know that He’s alive

To all the ones who have no home

Get up and run we’re going home

I know that He’s alive

I’m coming alive….

It may get loud…the grave is empty now!

It may get wild…His love is like no other!

Hope is "GOOD" this Friday

Thought of the day: Fasting Hopelessness

Hope is "GOOD" this Friday

because 

Hope trusts.
10,000 reasons why and still counting

As I look at today and what it represents I find with in me a heavy heart.

 I know what it feels like to lose a son.
It's hard to imagine that I could have this experience in common with God..

 but I do:(

I often wonder what God was thinking. I also wonder what Jesus was thinking. 
At the cross we get a glimpse

 

"Eli, Eli, lama sabachthani?" that is, "My God, My God, why hast Thou forsaken Me?"

Matthew 27:46

 

This cry from Jesus's heart brings a stabbing pain to my own heart. I could not imagine hearing those words from my own son before he died. 

In this moment.. as we hear Jesus cry out to His Father... we must TRUST that the Father's heart is "Good" towards His son. 

 

Trust in the Lord with all your heart

and lean not on your own understanding;

in all your ways submit to him,

and he will make your paths straight.

Proverbs 3:5-6

This passage is telling us to acknowledge Him ,
to know Him in all our ways
because He will make the crooked places straight. 

The crooked places are places of disappointment. 

Places where we do not know how to navigate. 

They are sometimes places that we've prayed
for a different outcome than what we were given.
 

What do we do in these places?

What I have learned 

in this place
we sit at the table prepared before us by God Himself and feast on His Truth.

 

The Lord is my shepherd, I lack nothing.

He makes me lie down in green pastures,

he leads me beside quiet waters,

 he refreshes my soul.

He guides me along the right paths

for his name’s sake.

Even though I walk

through the darkest valley,

I will fear no evil,

for you are with me;

your rod and your staff,

they comfort me.

 You prepare a table before me

in the presence of my enemies.

You anoint my head with oil;

my cup overflows.

Surely your goodness and love will follow me

all the days of my life,

and I will dwell in the house of the Lord

forever.

Psalms 23

So many times we hear this scripture quoted at funerals. I heard it at Jack's and many others. I used to hate this scripture... but now.. finally .. I see truth in it that brings comfort to my broken heart and soul. 

I am now going to show you my true colors.. what really motivates me.. 
my hate for the enemy

This scripture say that God prepares a table for me in the midst of my enemies. 

What does this mean? 

A table is a place of communion, feasting, hospitality .. a place for an intimate gathering.

It is at this place

the table

we sit at in the midst of the crooked places
 

in the midst of the chaos of disappointment
 

Even as we walk through the valley of death

We find the table of communion

and we feast on the GOODNESS of God!
 

Let me share with you how I picture this 

God, has prepared a beautiful table.. Candles, a beautiful linen table cloth, fine china and silver. The table is loaded with all my favorite food.. 

Fried Chicken, mashed potatoes, collard greens, cornbread and some cold ice tea with lemon

Not to leave out desert and a glass of my favorite wine.

The music that is playing in the background brings such joy to my soul and spirit that I can hardly stay seated..

But I do

I lean over and grab a chicken leg and take a big bite 

and then give a small nod of acknowledgement to the one sitting on the other side of the table

The enemy himself

he's not at the table..

because the Lord Himself is at the table feasting with me

The enemy is sitting in the distance, handcuffed, watching me feast on the goodness of God 

right in the midst of what he intended for my bad

God is actually making it for my Good.

In the end it all turns out good. 

I will see Jack again

because we saw Jesus again.

The tomb is empty
I am determined to allow my life to reflect this truth on this earth until I take my last breath.

The power of God in our life is to demonstrate the
power of the Kingdom of heaven here on earth. 

The power He gave me was to still have a "yes" to Him even after loss

because I understand that in the Kingdom

Jesus overcame loss with the power of Resurrection!

So, with this truth in my heart I will lean on enduring faith so I can receive the promises of Heaven. 

31 It is a dreadful thing to fall into the hands of the living God.

32 Remember those earlier days after you had received the light, when you endured in a great conflict full of suffering.

So do not throw away your confidence; it will be richly rewarded.

36 You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what he has promised.

Hebrews 10:31-32;35-36