Finding Breakthrough In My Brokenness

"So I Will"Amanda Cook

This song puts God into perspective. He is billions of times bigger than your brokenness.

“Christianity is realistic because it says that if there is no truth, there is also no hope." - Francis A. Schaeffer

The truth is, we are all broken.

Our path to discovering this truth can get extremely messy. For me, I feel like I've had to learn it many times and on many different levels. This season I've come to realize that the broken places in my life are invitations for a breakthrough. It's all about perspective:)

Let me give a revelation I had the other day. I've been dealing with a circumstance for the past five months. It involves other people, their agendas, and expectations of me. My job within this circumstance requires me to perform certain tasks, some I know how to do and some I need training on how to do. I've been doing my best to produce the expected results, and so far, I've had little to no success.

This.  Has made me feel. Broken.

Why, because I'm not producing the desired results others and I have placed upon me.

My default mindset when I come face to face with my brokenness is to agree; I'm not producing which means I'm not good enough, so I quit!

I would have given up by now, but I knew from the very beginning of this journey that it was something God wanted me to do. So, I've stayed but throwing many pity parties for myself. The only people on the guest list who showed up to my party were Jesus and I. The conversation always began with, "Jesus, what do you expect me to do? I'm failing miserably, and I don't think I can do this!" He patiently listened to me plead my case and His response was always the same, don't quit! After many weeks of examining the situation, I realized I was not the only broken person in the circumstance. He was exposing my brokenness through other broken people. The broken place in me was expecting to be able to do something I had not been trained to do. I kept tripping over this broken place not noticing that my failure to produce could be healed with proper training.

I realized this part of the process, was broken. It was my nature to expect myself to know how to do the job without asking for help. I was offered the job because the people hiring me thought I naturally possessed the skill set needed for the position. Painfully over time, that assumption was proven false. I was failing and on the verge of judging myself a failure. 

Wisdom began to reveal the attack- identity theft at it's finest!

I knew I had to turn to Jesus for help. I needed the truth that would set me free from making my usual agreement that “I'm not good enough,” so I'll quit.

The truth He gave me was, "You're weak in certain areas. Be realistic with yourself and ask for help. When you embrace your weakness, I can step in and be strongest for you.”

This plan is good in theory, but it required me to admit "I can't do this on my own."  I don't like to admit my weakness, but it was the only way to fix what was broken.

I have grown to like the hope that this truth brought to my dilemma. It was time to let my pride die and ask for help.

Truth- I have found a broken place in me, and that is ok because Jesus will teach me a new way with His truth. This is the hope we hold onto while He leads us to our breakthrough.

We are broken, but we don't have to stay that way.

I’ve been given a whole new perspective on this word broken. Broken offers opportunity and growth. It's a choice, and you get to choose what to do with your brokenness. You can choose to ignore it, let it live and keep tripping over it the rest of your life.  Or, let it die and allow Jesus to renew it. His intentions are good, and He longs to help us, but He can't if we are not willing to admit our weakness and ask for help.

"I'm not here to demolish but to complete. I am going to put it all together, pull it all together in a vast panorama."- Jesus     Matthew 5:18

The scripture above shows so wonderfully what Jesus wanted to do here on earth. He didn't come to take away or erase but to give what was needed to complete and fix the broken. He came to give us resurrection, the ultimate breakthrough. He gave us the perfect example when He trusted His Father on the cross. In the garden of Gethsemane, Jesus begged His dad to let Him do it another way. He revealed a broken place we all have in common.  It's the fear of letting our broken places die. Jesus showed us that it's ok to express your desperate desire to go another way. This is actually a confession of weakness. Jesus also showed us that this is not the place to stop and agree with your current feelings. It's the place we agree to disagree with ourselves and in faith agree with the perfect will of God. Submission to our weakness offers the supernatural grace needed to die to self so we can be resurrected with Jesus. Brokenness can be the door to your breakthrough.

I've learned that the most loving thing I can do is admit my weakness. It offers me the opportunity to find the missing pieces that complete me and make me whole. Neglecting to admit your weakness only hurts yourself and others. Remember, you're not alone in your suffering. Others are watching and waiting for you to see what is broken and choose another way. Maybe it's time to let your brokenness die? Begin with considering God's kindness and faithfulness. He will finish the good work He started with you. Humble yourself, and you will find the One who never leaves you alone in your suffering. Grab hold of His hand and follow His truth from the grave to your breakthrough.

"Whoever exalts himself will be humbled, and whoever humbles himself will be exalted." Matthew 23:12

AKA- go low. In due time He will lift you

Believe. He Is Working It Out.

This morning I came across this reading of Romans 8 by John Piper. 

POWERFUL! 

I must admit that the beginning of this chapter might lead your heart down a path of judging yourself disqualified to the hope found in the words written long ago by Paul. The unseen hope of patiently overcoming all the heartaches and suffering we experience here on earth. 

The chapter begins with a truth - 

"There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus." 

Ahh, yes I believe that:) 

And the following words bring more hope. 

2 For the law of the Spirit[a] of life in Christ Jesus has set you[b] free from the law of 

sin and of death. 3 For God has done what the law, weakened by the flesh, could not do: by sending his own Son in the likeness of sinful flesh, and to deal with sin,[c] he condemned sin in the flesh,

 4 so that the just requirement of the law might be fulfilled in us, 

who walk not according to the flesh but according to the Spirit.

Then my heart fell when I heard  - "and those who are in the flesh cannot please God."

Why do we always want to believe the worst about ourselves? Why do we blame ourselves for something we could have never done on our own. That is the perfected work of the enemies lies. We want to believe we will never measure up. There is some truth in that, but if we trace our finger back to the words written before we judged ourselves, we see the truth we missed that sets us all free. 

"God has done what the law, weakened by the flesh, could not do."

We could never overcome the law and please God because we are weakened by the flesh. The marriage of law and flesh was God's plan to begin with...He knew it would produce a frustration within us that would eventually bring us to truth. It is His mission to do for us what we cannot do on our own. Our flesh is earthly tent where our spirit from Heaven dwells until we the day we are set free to return Home. He knows our flesh isn't capable of pleasing Him without Him. So, He made it His responsibility to deal with the flesh by sending His son Jesus to do what the law could not do.. give us grace:) 

"He sent Jesus to save whom He foreknew."

He knew you before you came to live on this earth in a tent of flesh. He knew and knows your struggles. He predestined you to be conformed to the image of His son (the ultimate overcomer). And those He predestined He also called, and He justified and those He justified He also glorifies. 

29 For those whom he foreknew, he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, in order that he might be the firstborn within a large family.[v] 

30 And those whom he predestined he also called; and those whom he called he also justified; and those whom he justified he also glorified.

We must return to this truth. He made the way, and He continues to make the way. He has given us His Spirit who lives in us and who pleases God for us and through us.
This is why we have hope. This is why we never give up. He started the good work long before you were ever here on earth and He promises to finish it .......  His responsibility...... Your responsibility ...... Begins with belief. 

When we believe, we open our heart to the unseen hope. This gives God just what He needs to be at work in our lives.

I love the ending of Romans 8- The Spirit of God, who is always interceding for us and fighting for us makes us righteous. Not us alone but us only by the Spirit of God who lives within us. 

Share His yoke and put your condemning one down. Grab hold of the hope that has invited us all partake of the Good story God is working out in all of our lives. 

Remember, Nothing can separate you from His love. 

I end this morning again with remembering His words to me at the beginning of this year... "You will judge the one who promises faithful".  I will judge Him faithful in the end because He cannot lie :) This I WILL believe:) 

The ending of this chapter is the glue of our faith.. It is the why we believe. 

Romans 8:24-38

24 "For in[o] hope we were saved. Now hope that is seen is not hope. For who hopes[p] for what is seen? 25 But if we hope for what we do not see, we wait for it with patience.

26 Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness; for we do not know how to pray as we ought, but that very Spirit intercedes[q] with sighs too deep for words. 27 And God,[r] who searches the heart, knows what is the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit[s] intercedes for the saints according to the will of God.[t]

28 We know that all things work together for good[u] for those who love God, who are called according to his purpose. 29 For those whom he foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, in order that he might be the firstborn within a large family.[v] 30 And those whom he predestined he also called; and those whom he called he also justified; and those whom he justified he also glorified.

God’s Love in Christ Jesus

31 What then are we to say about these things? If God is for us, who is against us? 32 He who did not withhold his own Son, but gave him up for all of us, will he not with him also give us everything else? 33 Who will bring any charge against God’s elect? It is God who justifies. 34 Who is to condemn? It is Christ Jesus, who died, yes, who was raised, who is at the right hand of God, who indeed intercedes for us.[w] 35 Who will separate us from the love of Christ? Will hardship, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword? 36 As it is written,

“For your sake we are being killed all day long;
    we are accounted as sheep to be slaughtered.”

37 No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. 38 For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor rulers, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, 39 nor height, nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord."

The Unexpected Ending- He is Faithful

This morning I awoke to the song "Hosanna." When I hear it, my imagination takes me to a place in history where the news of Jesus' arrival in Jerusalem is first breaking. As He enters in on a donkey, I see myself amongst the crowd of people who had been wondering if he would come. I can feel the desperateness and relief in their hearts as they shout "Hosanna" God save us!

They sing with a knowing that they finally get to see their prayers in faith become a reality. The rescue. And then, how they must have felt when their version of the story looked nothing like His.

After reading my devotional today, I thought God did respond to their cry for help.  The shout "God save us" tipped the bowl of prayers that had been filling with the prayers of faith since the beginning of time. The spill produced a shower of mercy and grace that gave them the ability to withstand His heartbreaking version of the story. Our plans almost never line up with God's. We expect the rescue to look a certain way. Unfortunately, most of the time, His version of the story is first seen through eyes of faith. Why, I guess it allows us to make a choice, is He good? Is He faithful? The crowd that day gathered to watch an expected ending, but it was just the beginning to an unexpected end. His ending would help them, and us make the right choice. He is good, and He is Faithful.

A lyric in the song above sums it all up for me.

"But when I think about the road you took for love, I know your grace will stay the path."

When we can't see what He's doing, we choose to believe He is working it out in a way that will reveal His good and His glory in our story.  He wants our story to be good, but sometimes our version has to die before He can write His. When He died on the cross, all we could see was an unjustified death. And it was, but it was the only way to justify it. His death gave us life. It took time to see what death was doing on the cross. And, with His mercy and grace, we learn to overcome the pain of watching our plans die until we see His plan come alive.

This season He keeps reminding of Sarah's story.

"She judged Him faithful who had promised". - Hebrews 11:11

What precedes those words about Sarah is where we find the way we can also judge Him faithful.

 "Through faith, Sarah herself received strength to conceive."

It is by faith, having faith in the unseen goodness and faithfulness of God, that we are given the "strength" (Mercy & Grace) to conceive His promise.

The ending to Sarah's story needed to die so God's could come alive within her. He let her write one, and it didn't turn out so good. He also gave her time to see her way didn't lead to life. I'm sure there was a private moment where she cried out too, God save me. It's at that moment we understand we need a new ending. We stop striving and struggling and let go. It's the perfect place for faith. Nothing else can enter because you can see no other ending. And that's when He gives us the strength to conceive a new plan, His perfect plan. In this space and place, we will see His goodness and judge Him faithful.

Another wonderful devotional below to remind us of His faithfulness. His mercies are new every single day. An anchor for us all.

RACHAMIM

“Do you believe,” said the teacher, “that God has mercy?”

“Yes,” I replied.  “Of course, you’ve taught me that.”

“No,” said the teacher.  “God does not have mercy.”

“With all respect,” I said cautiously, “that’s not right.”   It was the first time I had ever contradicted him in such a direct way.

“Prove your point,” he said.

“I was just reading the Book of Daniel.  In it, Daniel prays for God’s mercy on the people of Israel.  He says, “To the Lord our God belong mercy and forgiveness…”

“It doesn’t say that,” he replied, “not in the original language.  It says ‘to the Lord belong rachamim.'”

“What is rachamim?”

“Some would translate it as mercy.  But rachamim is not a singular noun.  It’s plural.  It doesn’t mean mercy.  It means mercies.  It means that God’s mercy is more than mercy.  God’s mercy is so great, so strong, and so deep that it can’t be contained in a single word.  Rachamim means that His mercy has no end.”

“What about the word for sin?” I asked.

“What do you mean?”

“Is it by nature singular or plural?”

“The word for sin,” said the teacher, “is singular.”

“But the word for mercy is plural,” I said.

“And what odes that tell you?”

“That no matter what my sin is, no matter how great, the mercy of God is always greater.  And no matter how much I’ve sinned, no matter how many sins I have, the mercies of God are more than my sins.”

“Yes,” said the teacher.  “So don’t ever make the mistake of thinking that you’ve exhausted God’s mercy.  You never have.  You never could.  And you never will.  He will always have more mercies than you have sins, more than enough to cover every sin and to still have enough compassion left over to love you forever.  For what the Lord has for you is not mercy…but rachamim.”

The Mission:  Open your heart today to receive the rachamim God has for you, not only for your sins, but the overflowing rivers of His compassions and love.

Psalm 136; Lamentations 3:22-23; Daniel 9:9; 2 Corinthians 1:3-4

Cahn, Jonathan. “Rachamim.” The Book of Mysteries. Lake Mary, FL: FrontLine, 2016. Day 56. Print.

23 - Wilderness to Wonder

May 23, 2017- 

Every time I see "23" it reminds me of a many things. It holds a sense of wonder because it's meaning is complex, deep, full of pain and full of hope.  I was born on the 23rd and years later felt my deepest pain on the 23rd. It led me into the desert and walked with me through the wilderness. It revealed the bitterness in my heart as I wrestled with Psalm 23. And, it broke my heart to be in "The valley of the shadow of death" but I knew it was where I needed to camp out for a while. I needed time to let go of the way I saw my world. I needed new eyes and that's what I got living in "The Tent World". In the valley I met The Shepherd. Over time He became My Shepherd. Today 23 reminds me that I'm not alone and I'm on a journey that is leading me home. 

This morning I listened to the song above and it paired so well with my morning devotional. The lyrics are hopeful and full of wonder and remind us that He turns the wilderness in wonder. 

“No matter what happens in this world or in your life, never forget, you’re not home…you’re only journeying through.  Every problem will pass, and every temptation will fade.  So tread lightly.  It’s where your’re going.  Keep your eyes focused and your heart fixed on your destination-on the Promised Land.  And for all the rest, just remember…you’re only camping.”

"The Tent World"

Jonathan Cahn

He led me to a plateau from which we could see a vast panorama of the wilderness, mountains, valleys, canyons, plains, rocks, and sand.

“It bears a profound mystery,” said the teacher.

“What does?” I asked.

“This…the desert.  It’s the landscape through which God’s people journeyed on their way to the Promised Land.”

“The Israelites.”

“Yes.  In order to get to the Promised Land, they had to journey through the desert wilderness, dwelling in tents.  In that is the revelation.”

“The revelation of what?” I asked.

“This life,” he said.  “Everything in this world is temporary.  It’s not the place in which we stay.  It’s the place through which we journey  We pass through this world.  It isn’t our home.  It’s the tent world.  And all of us are just campers.  Everything in this world changes, every circumstance, every experience, every stage of life…they’re all tents.  We dwell in one tent for a season, ad then move on to another.  Your childhood was tent in which once you dwelt and then you moved on.  Your good times, your bad times, your successes and failures, your problems, your joys and sorrows, your adulthood, your old age…they’re all just tents.  Even your physical being, even that’s a tent, temporary and always changing.  The very frailty of it all is a reminder that we’re only journeying through.”

“Journeying through to where?” I asked.

“For the child of God, it’s the journey home.  It’s the journey home to the Promised Land…to heaven…the place where we give up our tents and exchange that which is temporary for that which is everlasting.”

“And how do I apply this?”

“In every way,” he said.  “No matter what happens in this world or in your life, never forget, you’re not home…you’re only journeying through.  Every problem will pass, and every temptation will fade.  So tread lightly.  It’s where your’re going.  Keep your eyes focused and your heart fixed on your destination-on the Promised Land.  And for all the rest, just remember…you’re only camping.”

The Mission:  Living this day as a camper.  Don’t get caught up in your circumstances.  Focus instead on the journeying.  And travel lightly.

2 Corinthians 4:16-5:5; Hebrews 11:8-16

I love what 2 Corinthians 4:18 says- "There's far more here than meets the eye. The things we see now are here today, gone tomorrow. But the things we can't see now will last forever." - MSG

She Judged Him Faithful

Recently I attended the funeral of a dear friend. His mother had passed on to Heaven, and we were invited to join the family as they celebrated her life. Her pastor spoke that day on behalf of the family and offered a message of hope. The scripture he used to describe her that day is still with me. It’s like it opened a locked door deep within my heart.

                                                                 "She JUDGED Him Faithful."

The pastor was comparing my friend's mother to Sarah, the mother of nations and one that judged her God faithful. I did not know my friend's mother but the descriptions given that day by her loved ones made me believe that she was an amazing mother and wife. I left the funeral hoping that the words spoken at my funeral would some day be like her's, one who judged her God faithfully.

Jesus and I have been talking about why this scripture won’t leave my mind, and He has been sweet to give me insight. I love it when He extends an invitation to talk when your least expecting it.  Below is what He has shown me so far.

“Beyond your pay grade,” is a term used in the military to inform someone that they don't have the rank to make certain decisions. I feel Jesus is always saying to me, Julie, this is above your pay grade. You can't make that decision. You don't know all the facts or hold the authority to make those decisions. I want to move on your behalf, but other things need to happen. It's not time yet.

The delay. Why the delay? I want things to go my way and in my time. I want to move out of the desert and cross over to the Promise Land. I want to be comfortable. I want to feel safe. I know this is not the way things work, so why am I always frustrated by the delay? The Bible was written to warn us of the delay and teaches us how to prepare and what to do in the delay.

"I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world, you will have trouble. 

But take heart! I have overcome the world." (John 16:33 NIV)

The ending will be amazing! I'm sure of that, but the trouble we experience along the way can be too much at times.

Two more years and suddenly he is free. Joseph went to prison because of the evil choices of his brothers. While in prison, he retains his integrity and abilities and after testing is rewarded with two more years of unjustified imprisonment — and then suddenly he's free. This happens so often in the Bible. Sometimes, unfortunate circumstances go on and on and on. You analyze them and pray about them, and they only get worse.

 Jesus tells us, "It is not for you to know the times or dates the Father has set by his own authority" (Acts 1:7 NIV).

That's a harsh answer when you're in prison. Joseph experiences two more years of separation, loneliness, injustice, and the appearance of abandonment in response to his obedience. What's the point God's trying to make? I'm not sure, but I do see that somehow all of the heroes of faith who have painful, messy lives end with God's stamp of glory upon them. He carries them through.

Sarah is another person who is presently teaching me to be patient. I keep thinking about the time she laughed at God. She was at an all time low when this happened. Twenty-five years had passed, and the promised child hadn’t appeared. There had been "talk" of the promise, but God never told her "when." As time slowly passed, she gave up on hope and her body’s natural ability to give birth. I can see her now, standing in the kitchen washing dishes. She stands close to the wall to eavesdrop on God and Abraham's conversation, waiting for the promise to be mentioned and the explanation of why they didn't get it. I wonder if she thought it was her fault. When the delay took its toll on her hope, she decided to make her own way. Her great idea was to get Abram to sleep with the maid. She became the judge and went way beyond her pay grade. She must have felt an overwhelming sense of shame for helping Abraham lose his hope and promise.

I imagine God was patiently waiting, holding out for the moment when Sarah felt fully pregnant with her hopelessness. He knew one mention of the promise would induce the long awaited labor of her barrenness. As she retreated to the kitchen she heard the promise and laughed. God heard her and asked about it, and she denied its existence. I think the laugh revealed a lie Sarah had come to believe about God — that He wasn’t faithful. He knew this was her struggle and wanted to remove the lie and replace it with truth. He saw and understood her humanness within her story of His eternal glory. Instead of judgment, He offered her mercy and gave her what He promised — His faithfulness.

Sarah's story is messy. She made many mistakes and struggled to hold on to her faith. She wasn't perfect, but God still loved her and made good on His promise. The fulfillment of her dream gives me so much hope. Our lives are about becoming within the delay. We become more like Jesus in the wait. Sarah's becoming fully bloomed in the book of Hebrews. Here we get to see how God saw Sarah during the delay.

"…she judged him faithful who had promised." (Hebrews 11:11)

When I look back at some of my heroes in the Bible, I see that I'm not alone in my suffering. I also get to see that my heroes are human and make many mistakes. They teach me that I don't have to live a perfect life to be greatly loved by God. I will mess up. I will let my loved ones down. I will disappoint myself over and over again. I will try to figure things out on my own and manipulate them for my good. I will fall and scrape my knees and bleed. I will need to give forgiveness and ask for it a million times this side of heaven. I will trip many times over the truth that I can't save or fix anyone. My messy life doesn't bother God. He knew my story before I did and still created me. Today, I am learning that I can't do anything without Him, but with Him all things are possible.

To me, this is a good picture of what He's doing in the delay:

So don’t be afraid: I’m with you.

I’ll round up all your scattered children,

pull them in from east and west.

I’ll send orders north and south:

“Send them back.

Return my sons from distant lands,

my daughters from faraway places.

I want them back, every last one who bears my name,

every man, woman, and child

Whom I created for my glory,

yes, personally formed and made each one.” (Isaiah 43:7-10)