She Judged Him Faithful

Recently I attended the funeral of a dear friend. His mother had passed on to Heaven, and we were invited to join the family as they celebrated her life. Her pastor spoke that day on behalf of the family and offered a message of hope. The scripture he used to describe her that day is still with me. It’s like it opened a locked door deep within my heart.

                                                                 "She JUDGED Him Faithful."

The pastor was comparing my friend's mother to Sarah, the mother of nations and one that judged her God faithful. I did not know my friend's mother but the descriptions given that day by her loved ones made me believe that she was an amazing mother and wife. I left the funeral hoping that the words spoken at my funeral would some day be like her's, one who judged her God faithfully.

Jesus and I have been talking about why this scripture won’t leave my mind, and He has been sweet to give me insight. I love it when He extends an invitation to talk when your least expecting it.  Below is what He has shown me so far.

“Beyond your pay grade,” is a term used in the military to inform someone that they don't have the rank to make certain decisions. I feel Jesus is always saying to me, Julie, this is above your pay grade. You can't make that decision. You don't know all the facts or hold the authority to make those decisions. I want to move on your behalf, but other things need to happen. It's not time yet.

The delay. Why the delay? I want things to go my way and in my time. I want to move out of the desert and cross over to the Promise Land. I want to be comfortable. I want to feel safe. I know this is not the way things work, so why am I always frustrated by the delay? The Bible was written to warn us of the delay and teaches us how to prepare and what to do in the delay.

"I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world, you will have trouble. 

But take heart! I have overcome the world." (John 16:33 NIV)

The ending will be amazing! I'm sure of that, but the trouble we experience along the way can be too much at times.

Two more years and suddenly he is free. Joseph went to prison because of the evil choices of his brothers. While in prison, he retains his integrity and abilities and after testing is rewarded with two more years of unjustified imprisonment — and then suddenly he's free. This happens so often in the Bible. Sometimes, unfortunate circumstances go on and on and on. You analyze them and pray about them, and they only get worse.

 Jesus tells us, "It is not for you to know the times or dates the Father has set by his own authority" (Acts 1:7 NIV).

That's a harsh answer when you're in prison. Joseph experiences two more years of separation, loneliness, injustice, and the appearance of abandonment in response to his obedience. What's the point God's trying to make? I'm not sure, but I do see that somehow all of the heroes of faith who have painful, messy lives end with God's stamp of glory upon them. He carries them through.

Sarah is another person who is presently teaching me to be patient. I keep thinking about the time she laughed at God. She was at an all time low when this happened. Twenty-five years had passed, and the promised child hadn’t appeared. There had been "talk" of the promise, but God never told her "when." As time slowly passed, she gave up on hope and her body’s natural ability to give birth. I can see her now, standing in the kitchen washing dishes. She stands close to the wall to eavesdrop on God and Abraham's conversation, waiting for the promise to be mentioned and the explanation of why they didn't get it. I wonder if she thought it was her fault. When the delay took its toll on her hope, she decided to make her own way. Her great idea was to get Abram to sleep with the maid. She became the judge and went way beyond her pay grade. She must have felt an overwhelming sense of shame for helping Abraham lose his hope and promise.

I imagine God was patiently waiting, holding out for the moment when Sarah felt fully pregnant with her hopelessness. He knew one mention of the promise would induce the long awaited labor of her barrenness. As she retreated to the kitchen she heard the promise and laughed. God heard her and asked about it, and she denied its existence. I think the laugh revealed a lie Sarah had come to believe about God — that He wasn’t faithful. He knew this was her struggle and wanted to remove the lie and replace it with truth. He saw and understood her humanness within her story of His eternal glory. Instead of judgment, He offered her mercy and gave her what He promised — His faithfulness.

Sarah's story is messy. She made many mistakes and struggled to hold on to her faith. She wasn't perfect, but God still loved her and made good on His promise. The fulfillment of her dream gives me so much hope. Our lives are about becoming within the delay. We become more like Jesus in the wait. Sarah's becoming fully bloomed in the book of Hebrews. Here we get to see how God saw Sarah during the delay.

"…she judged him faithful who had promised." (Hebrews 11:11)

When I look back at some of my heroes in the Bible, I see that I'm not alone in my suffering. I also get to see that my heroes are human and make many mistakes. They teach me that I don't have to live a perfect life to be greatly loved by God. I will mess up. I will let my loved ones down. I will disappoint myself over and over again. I will try to figure things out on my own and manipulate them for my good. I will fall and scrape my knees and bleed. I will need to give forgiveness and ask for it a million times this side of heaven. I will trip many times over the truth that I can't save or fix anyone. My messy life doesn't bother God. He knew my story before I did and still created me. Today, I am learning that I can't do anything without Him, but with Him all things are possible.

To me, this is a good picture of what He's doing in the delay:

So don’t be afraid: I’m with you.

I’ll round up all your scattered children,

pull them in from east and west.

I’ll send orders north and south:

“Send them back.

Return my sons from distant lands,

my daughters from faraway places.

I want them back, every last one who bears my name,

every man, woman, and child

Whom I created for my glory,

yes, personally formed and made each one.” (Isaiah 43:7-10)