Friday, February 13, 2009

I love you this much!


Real love stories never have endings.
--Richard Bach

I love this quote! As I look forward to tomorrow’s celebration of Valentine’s Day, I find myself both happy and sad. It reminds us all that we love and are loved. Have you ever thought about the best "I love you" ever expressed to you personally? Was in 4th grade when your crush gave you a "Huge Hershey Kiss" at lunch so all your friends could share in the excitement? Was it the first valentine spent with the one you would spend the rest of your life with? Was it when you got to experience the day with your kids, oh how they love to celebrate this sugar filled holiday! I really love all my memories of celebrating the ones I love. Now days it is especially hard knowing one has moved on and I cannot physically wrap my arms around him to show him how much I love him. The flip side of this revelation is I have come realized what the most important "I Love You" has been for me. It has been "The Cross". The biggest I love you I ever got was the day Jesus died on the cross. On that day God shouted.... "I Love You This Much!!" This thought brings me to a memory I have of being a child. My grandmother used to ask me, "How much do you love me?" and I would reply by stretching my arms out as far as they would go behind my back and say " I love you this much" ... as much as my 4 year old arms could give...
Wow... just like our God.... He stretched out His arms as wide as He could and said “This Much"... He gave as much as He could give to show us just how much He loves us! Tomorrow as you show your loved ones how much you care... remember to give as your Father has given... Love with no end!
Happy heart day.. Smith, Maddie, Macie , and Jack!
Love,
Mom

Wednesday, February 4, 2009

25 Random Things About Me?



Have you been asked to do the "25 Random Things About Me" on face book yet? I fianlly gave in, sat down and made myself do it. It was a challenge! I thought I would share....

1. I said I was not going to do this, but here I am!.. (Hmmm...Could this be the theme of my life?!)

2. I love to laugh! Laughter has put my heart back together. I have learned through my grief that "laughing" is the way I "cry" best. (Watching "Arrested development" and "The Office" helped during my deepest days of grief... of course after I spent many hours talking to God.. ) Instead of bringing flowers and chocolates to lift my spirits, Smith would rent me the full season episodes of my favorite funny shows and I would watch and laugh for hours.. ) God has to have the best sense of humor.. I can't wait to meet Him!

3. I secretly want to be a standup comedian.. But I'm not really that funny. I know this because my kids tell me so...

4. I love to do crazy, "out of the box" things daily. It makes life fun. It helps balance my natural tendency to be too serious. In fact this year I have taken a stand against the sadness in my house. 2009 is the year of FUN!!!!!

5. I love God, my husband Smith of 18 yrs. and my children Maddie, Macie and Jack more than I ever thought possible. I have learned that you really don't know how much you love someone, until they are gone. Lesson learned... Now, I know!

6. If you told me 5 years ago that I would be a contemplating which bible study to do next.. I would have called you crazy! Never in my life would I have imagined being so taken by God's word. I love the way He has showered me with Love and Compassion and through that I have learned to see His truth, which initiated for the first time in my life, real life change in me! (I know that was a really long "run on sentence". Please forgive me. HA!)

7. I bet most of you did not know.... when I was 18, I sent a video tape of me impersonating Rosanna, Rosanna Danna to Saturday night live. I was certain they would take one look at my performance and be blown away! You guessed it..Lorne Michaels never called me so I went ahead with plan "B". Jacksonville State University!! (I should have given more thought to plan B??)

8. Good things came from plan B... It led to plan "C". Having a baby then getting married and all before the age of 19. Do you see a theme here? I am not a very good planner!!! But I have learned to roll with the punches!

9. Right now as I type, there are at least 15 wild turkeys running through my back yard. They are very loud and annoying! I should get bonus points for this one.. It’s extremely random.

10. I am the poster child for Romans 8:28 - "We know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose”. I know I keep God on His toes. It amazes me how He has taken my very unplanned plans, A- C, and worked them together for my good.... just because He loves me!

11. I Read a good quote this morning... "The marvel of the Redemptive Reality of God is that the worst and the vilest can never get to the bottom of His love. Paul did not say that God separated him to show what a wonderful man He could make of him, but to reveal His Son in him" Oswald Chambers-
Reality check... once again..It’s not about making me... it's about realizing who we already are through HIM!!!!

12. I am learning to "Rest in God's work" ...When I notice anxiety creeping in, I literally close my eyes and visualize myself pushing whatever the issue is before God's feet. I feel free to enjoy the day and trust that God's in control.

13. When I don’t know what to do... I just do the next thing... most of the time that involves a trip to the dairy queen... Ha!

14. Here's another random thing about me... I love to talk for animals. Let me explain... I might see a horse in a field while driving my daughter to school... I love to start a conversation pretending I am the horse talking to me or another horse... weird, but it just comes so natural for me... I do it without thinking.

15. One crazy thing I did this past Christmas... I auditioned to be on a show that will be airing this year on the Food Network. I have not heard anything yet, and YES, it’s one heck of a long shot. However, it was a wonderful distraction during the Christmas season... which is always so hard for me! Grief makes you do some really crazy things!

16. I also was able to contribute to a book project last year. I wrote one chapter about why I felt led to speak out of tragedy. It was so much fun. I have felt led to write a book, but it seems to be such an overwhelming task... I guess now that I have done one chapter, maybe God will call me to do more?

17. Weird? The bathroom in our master bedroom only has a tub? No shower? Who would do that?

18. My dog's name is Fluke. The reason I named him fluke was because he showed up one day in my front yard and never left. After two weeks of being told not to feed him... I finally gave in... I fed him and thought... what a fluke! It was a total fluke that we had this dog. He still has not left to go back home.

19. I love to cook!

20. I have learned so much through my journey of grief!# 1 lesson- God is real! #2 - What used to matter doesn’t really matter at all... #3 - I got to know myself. #4 - I have more fun...
#5-Relationship are most important to God ... then we will follow the rules! (I used to think it was the other way around and it kept me out of church!)

21. I ask for forgiveness every day...

22. "Is this a masquara worthy day?" - A quote by the one and only, Julie Peck.

23. I love that I came up with that quote because; I didn’t used to cry in front of other people. I have learned that tears show how much we care.

24. One small regret, I wish I had raised my children from the very beginning to love God the way I do today. My heart aches to fully understand now what my role is as a mother. However, God is faithful and can redeem and repair and make new!

25. I cannot wait to go to Heaven. The thought of my family being all together again drives me daily to live this life well…. I can almost feel the amazing hug that is waiting for me!