Happy!

"Just think how happy you'd be if you lost everything and everyone you have right now.. and then, somehow got them back again." -Kobi Yamada

I came across this quote the other day and thought to myself, "Wow! now that is happy beyond my wildest dreams!" I am not sure who the author of this quote is, but I am sure that this person has experienced loss. Only someone who has truly lost something dear and precious to their heart could have written these words. I am guessing this form of "happy" was experienced by both Mary's when they went to visit the tomb of their lost loved one, Jesus. To everyone else it was just an ordinary Sunday, the beginning of a new work week. But for the two Mary's it was no ordinary Sunday, for them it was the beginning of "knowing" the reality of losing everything dear. As they approached the tomb, lost in quiet thought, I can only imagine that their hearts skipped a couple of beats when they arrived. An angel appeared before their eyes and said" He is not here, He has risen!" Can you imagine! How happy do you think these girls were? I can just see their faces... eyes red and swollen; cheeks chapped and stained by the many tears shed.... jaws dropped with their mouth's wide open due to what their hearts could only dare to believe. Never in their wildest dreams could anything this amazing happen to the two of them. As the reality of this moment sunk in, I believe they felt true happiness... This kind of "happy" offered a settled peace to their souls. One that would afford them the ability to "believe" once and for all... to never worry again about the future.
It is hard to imagine what that kind of "happy" feels like... I think about it often. Today, I dream about that moment... the moment when I get to experience the "happy" that will bring the ultimate peace of knowing that I will never experience loss again!

The measure of courage...

Courage
"The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy"- Martin Luther King

I have this picture hanging in my kitchen. I bought it about 6 months before Jack passed away. I remember the day I bought it, it was not for me but for someone whom I loved very much. She had been experiencing many hard circumstances in her life that were forcing her to make some tough decisions about her future. I remember the day that this now framed treasure to me, was purchased to inspire and uplift someone other than me. The words spoken long ago by Dr. Martin Luther King, were somehow the very words that I wanted to say to my loved one...yet I could not muster up the courage to physically do on my own. So, the next best thing was to hang it on my wall right beside my refrigerator (which happens to be a place that I see many times during the day). I am not sure if she ever took notice of my attempt to encourage her, but I am sure of one thing, it has encouraged and blessed me many times.
You know, we all have struggles. We all have hard circumstances in life. I am not the only one who has lost a loved one.. and I can honestly say that I have listened to many others who have experienced much more pain that I have personally had to bare. Circumstances are what make up life, good and bad ones. We all face them daily. The question is, how do you allow them to "measure you"? You do have a choice. I believe that we have an enemy that attempts to use all of our circumstances to cause us to fail. We also have a savior that wants to use the same circumstances to cause us victory and Him glory. It's my decision to make, in the midst of life's circumstances, whom I'm going to follow.
I have been able, just this week, to put into words the lesson that I have been learning for many years. It was prompted by an interview Smith and I had this past Sunday at Briarlake Babtist Church. We knew going in that we would be discussing Romans 8:28, "And we know all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are called according to His purpose." Let me first say, this is not the first time we had been asked to talk about this subject. So, I thought we had this one down pat... really no need to put anymore thought into "why we trust that God works all things together for good". Yes, today the fruit of giving our circumstances to God is bright and beautiful for all to see. What I failed to allow others to see was the daily battle, the fight to trust when there was no reason to do so. It would have been so easy to give up and give in to my misfortune. Now looking back, what good would that have done? What kind of legacy would that leave? What kind of example would that be for my girls? Where exactly would that leave me standing? I know now, it would have led me into a bigger mess! Just where my enemy would have led me.
This has not been an easy lesson to learn... and that is why I am sharing it! Learning to trust, walk through, and accept life's struggles is not an easy task. It raises questions and demands answers. When we realize for the first time, that pain is a part of life, life isn't fair and bad things really DO happen to good people... it cause us to question. Question what we believe about life... and that is where some of us stop... we see all the disappointments and sorrow life has given us and we lose hope, give up and give in to failure. I will admit that I have given in many times throughout my life. However, and for what ever reason, I chose this time to fight back! It was a daily battle to fight against the despair of life with out Jack. I had to choose... to get up everyday and fight back, walk through and find a way to the other side. My motivation was that I knew Jack would want the best for me.. He would want his sisters to still have their mom.. and his dad to still have his wife... and for me to find a way to be happy again. I must admit the work is hard, especially when there is no clear plan laid out before you. The plan was only revealed on a day by day basis... and was tailor made for me. No ones plan will ever look the same... but I have found one common ingredient in every plan... if you allow the good... you will find a new "measure of you"... a part of you that you never knew existed before... someone who has found a way to live a life to the fullest. You begin to dream again and hope for a bright new future!

JSP's Interview on JSP's Story and Why God allows suffering

Worth the Wait

Merry Christmas to all...
I wanted to share something I read today that gave my heavy heart hope. Enjoy..

The LORD is good to those who depend on him, to those who search for him.
Lamentations 3:25

The story of Christmas goes back to Eden. The day Adam and Eve ate the fruit of the tree, God didn't panic. He had seen this coming before creation. God went on record, foretelling a coming Messiah who would crush Satan's head and bring deliverance to God's people. And then, I imagine with tears running down his cheeks, God dismissed Adam and Eve from the garden.
I can almost see God standing by the forbidden tree, knowing that one day he would return to earth as a human baby, grow up, and let himself be nailed to a tree, bearing all the sin of this world in his own body. And in the moment of Satan's apparent triumph, he would turn around and crush him and rise from the dead to offer new, eternal life to all who believe.
Yet this promise of the Messiah was made thousands of years before Jesus' birth. Christmas is about an incredible promise God made to us in the distant past. It's about promise, and about waiting a very long time.

Toward the end of the Old Testament, God makes this sobering declaration: "I will search with lanterns in Jerusalem's darkest corners to punish those who sit complacent in their sins. They think the LORD will do nothing to them, either good or bad"(Zephaniah 1:12). Yet in t he end, not even the high priest welcomed baby Jesus into the world. Only a few shepherds ans some foreign dignitaries seem to have noticed God's arrival.
The high priest probably didn't believe God was going to do anything to change the status quo. After all, God hadn't done anything, as far as he could tell, for centuries. The prophets spoke no more. No one had seen a miracle for generations. For all practical purposes, God had disappeared. Few were still waiting with expectation.
Yet some were. Forty days after Jesus' birth. Joseph and Mary met a man in Jerusalem who had received God's promise that he would see the promised Messiah in his lifetime. Simeon longed to see the Christ child. The day it happened, he took Jesus in his arms. I can imagine him laughing, looking, wondering, God is that you? It is! You've come! At last! This baby is the Savior of all humanity! Now I can die in peace. Against all odds, at the end of Simeon's life, God had kept his promise.Anything worth having is worth waiting for. But it's so hard to wait.

-David Sanford

When despair for the world grows in me
and I wake in the night at the least sound
in fear of what my life and my children's lives may be,
I go and lie down where the wood drake
rests in his beauty on the water; and the great heron feeds.
I come into the peace of wild things
who do not tax their lives with forethought
or grief. I come into the presence of still water.
And I feel above me the day-blind stars
waiting with their light. For a time
I rest in the grace of the world, and am free.
-Wendell Berry

Happy Birthday Jesus!!
Love,
Julie Peck

Waiting

"He'll wipe every tear from their eyes.
Death is gone for good—tears gone, crying gone, pain gone—
all the first order of things gone."
Revelation 21:4 (MSG)

Today is December 22, 2009. It is a day I find myself reflecting on the past. The past concerning my own life and the life of our Savior. On my personal calendar this week, I reflect on Jack's birthday into Heaven. On the Saviors calendar, I reflect on Christ's birthday into this world.
The topic this week on the advent calendar is "preparation". It is the period of time between conception and the delivery of a child who came to save us from death, for good.
For mothers, this side of Heaven, this is a time of "nesting".. washing, sorting and putting into place the items needed for the arrival of the newest member of our family. It is also one of the most exciting times for a mother, longing to see her child. During this time we prepare for the unexpected day of arrival. What seems to be the longest nine months of our lives is quickly forgotten when we at last see our precious child for the first time.. we are surprised by joy!
As a Christian, I am suppose to long for Jesus Christ return. And when the world's injustice, pain, and senselessness bear down on me, I do so long for that day. I find myself wondering, "How long can you wait, Lord? How can you let us keep going in this mess?"
I already know the answer. It's His grace again... giving me time to get my rooms in order, to get my mind and heart on track so that when He comes, I won't have to regret it. So while part of me cries out, "Come, Jesus!" the other part says, "But don't rush!" There is so much to be done before you're here!"
Advent is a time of remembering how the world waited- and prepared- and despaired for the Savior to come. One day, He came. The world has never been the same. Advent is also a time of looking forward to his second coming, of waiting- and preparing- and never despairing. What the angels told the disciples on the Mount of Olives so long ago they say to us today; "This same Jesus will come back!"
How can I prepare for the Lord's second coming? After speaking to the Corinthians about the next advent, Paul concluded: "So, my dear brothers and sisters, be strong and immovable. Always work enthusiastically for the Lord, for you know that nothing you do for the Lord is ever useless" (1 Cor. 15:58) I can prepare for Jesus' coming by committing myself to do his work. Even the smallest act is not in vain.
The months waiting for our babies were forgotten when we first held our new born child. These are Aha moments as we meet the person to whom we have already committed our body, hearts and souls to.. When the Lord comes again, "in a moment, in the blink of an eye"(1Cor. 15:52), the long anticipated. prepared-for day will no longer be someday, but today. It's only a dull picture of the divine magnificence, like the baby in a mothers womb whom she knows she loves and yet has never seen. I also finally will see my Lord face to face. Come, Lord Jesus, come! May I be found prepared, even if you come tonight!

Something Beautiful

Thankful for the Hollowed Manger Ground

While they were there, the time came for her to give birth. She gave birth to a son, her firstborn. She wrapped him in a blanket and laid him in a manger, because there was no room in the hostel.
-Luke 2:6-7 (MSG)

Christmas time is a very weary time for our family. Since Jack's birthday into heaven, Dec. 23rd 2004… we have dreaded Christmas . Instead of joyfully entering into a season of good cheer.. we fall wearily by the wayside praying desperately for it to pass as quickly as possible. Again, I am wondering where God may be in all of this ? After 4 years I still find myself searching desperately for hope… wondering if we will ever be able to enjoy Christmas again. We have such horrible memories that cloud a time that should be spent reflecting on the moment “Glory in the Highest” first placed it’s human feet here on earth. I know the enemy loves the fact that our tragedy intersects with the birthday of our savior. He would love nothing more than for me to always dread Christmas.
However, this past weekend I felt this strange urge to celebrate. Not in the way I used to celebrate with hurried parties and packages. This year, I really wanted to celebrate the birth of our savior, Christ. One reason for the urge was because I know that the enemy never imagined that I would want to celebrate Christmas again. The revelation hit me while I was singing Christmas songs at a concert this weekend. I had to force myself up to join the crowd in their joyful singing and clapping . What happened next was very unexpected! With each clap I felt like I was becoming stronger. I imagined myself clapping directly in the face of my enemy.. showing him that he had not won this battle.. that I would not go by this Christmas with my head hung in defeat.This year I wanted to look up from my wounds to see my Father's sacrifice. Taking a step back, I can see the enemy’s age old tactic. He wants me to only see my pain.. but I know that if I take my pain to God.. I begin to see His pain, His plan and His purpose.
His heart aches for us.. He knew over 2000 years before Jack’s death that I would need a plan, and a purpose for my pain. He knew that if He left me alone in my pain that I would die too. His plan was to join me.. to come down to my level.. to meet me where I was at.. look me in the eye and say to me… I know this is hard for you, it was also hard for Me. I did not plan for it to be this way, but I have plans to change it!
My plan is a gift for you. Actually, it was the first gift ever given on the first Christmas Day. Julie, when I gave it over 2000 yrs ago.. I had you on my mind. My plan was to give you life at a time when all you could see was death. I knew you would need this specific gift, because I, myself have endured the pain of suffering the loss of many loved ones…. I did not want you to feel forsaken, I wanted you to feel defended. My gift came with a purpose and that was to defeat death once and for all. My gift was hope! It promises when death steals something precious from you… that I buy it back .. restore it and give it new life. My sweet child, don’t you know what is precious to you was precious to me first.
With that being said, can I once again celebrate Christmas? Can I truly feel the joy, peace and love that this season is suppose to bring us?.. remind us of?…
My heart shouts yes! Because, for the first time in my life, I can fully appreciate the “reason for the season”.
To remember and be thankful for the day God sent a baby, full of grace and truth, to bridge the gap between life and death. I am forever grateful for the gift of knowing I will cross that bridge one day to be reunited with those who are precious to Him and missed dearly by me.

Happy Birthday, Jesus!
Merry Christmas to all!
Julie Peck