Thankful for the Hollowed Manger Ground

While they were there, the time came for her to give birth. She gave birth to a son, her firstborn. She wrapped him in a blanket and laid him in a manger, because there was no room in the hostel.
-Luke 2:6-7 (MSG)

Christmas time is a very weary time for our family. Since Jack's birthday into heaven, Dec. 23rd 2004… we have dreaded Christmas . Instead of joyfully entering into a season of good cheer.. we fall wearily by the wayside praying desperately for it to pass as quickly as possible. Again, I am wondering where God may be in all of this ? After 4 years I still find myself searching desperately for hope… wondering if we will ever be able to enjoy Christmas again. We have such horrible memories that cloud a time that should be spent reflecting on the moment “Glory in the Highest” first placed it’s human feet here on earth. I know the enemy loves the fact that our tragedy intersects with the birthday of our savior. He would love nothing more than for me to always dread Christmas.
However, this past weekend I felt this strange urge to celebrate. Not in the way I used to celebrate with hurried parties and packages. This year, I really wanted to celebrate the birth of our savior, Christ. One reason for the urge was because I know that the enemy never imagined that I would want to celebrate Christmas again. The revelation hit me while I was singing Christmas songs at a concert this weekend. I had to force myself up to join the crowd in their joyful singing and clapping . What happened next was very unexpected! With each clap I felt like I was becoming stronger. I imagined myself clapping directly in the face of my enemy.. showing him that he had not won this battle.. that I would not go by this Christmas with my head hung in defeat.This year I wanted to look up from my wounds to see my Father's sacrifice. Taking a step back, I can see the enemy’s age old tactic. He wants me to only see my pain.. but I know that if I take my pain to God.. I begin to see His pain, His plan and His purpose.
His heart aches for us.. He knew over 2000 years before Jack’s death that I would need a plan, and a purpose for my pain. He knew that if He left me alone in my pain that I would die too. His plan was to join me.. to come down to my level.. to meet me where I was at.. look me in the eye and say to me… I know this is hard for you, it was also hard for Me. I did not plan for it to be this way, but I have plans to change it!
My plan is a gift for you. Actually, it was the first gift ever given on the first Christmas Day. Julie, when I gave it over 2000 yrs ago.. I had you on my mind. My plan was to give you life at a time when all you could see was death. I knew you would need this specific gift, because I, myself have endured the pain of suffering the loss of many loved ones…. I did not want you to feel forsaken, I wanted you to feel defended. My gift came with a purpose and that was to defeat death once and for all. My gift was hope! It promises when death steals something precious from you… that I buy it back .. restore it and give it new life. My sweet child, don’t you know what is precious to you was precious to me first.
With that being said, can I once again celebrate Christmas? Can I truly feel the joy, peace and love that this season is suppose to bring us?.. remind us of?…
My heart shouts yes! Because, for the first time in my life, I can fully appreciate the “reason for the season”.
To remember and be thankful for the day God sent a baby, full of grace and truth, to bridge the gap between life and death. I am forever grateful for the gift of knowing I will cross that bridge one day to be reunited with those who are precious to Him and missed dearly by me.

Happy Birthday, Jesus!
Merry Christmas to all!
Julie Peck