While we wait.. We dance. Day 9 Advent

"We Dance"

Steffany Frizzell

Today's Focus: 

Joseph and the death of his dream

What others meant for bad.. God means to make it good

I love the lyrics to the song above..

"You steady me

Slow and sweet, we sway

Take the lead and I will follow

Finally ready now

To close my eyes and just believe

That You won't lead me

Where You don't go"

When life tries to unsteady us.. He's always there to steady us. 

I know it's hard at first to not to push back from Him when the storms of life come. We wonder why He allowed the storms... I don't have an answer for that... but one thing I do know is that when I finally gave up the fight and fell into His arms and let Him lead.. He led me to places I could have never gone alone. 

"When my faith gets tired

And my hope seems lost

You spin me round and round

And remind me of that song

The one You wrote for me

And we dance"

He writes a song just for you.. One that only you and Him can dance to.. It is a love song that He sings .. and He dying to dance with you .. sing to you.. steady you... spin you round and round.. until you somehow forget about all the unsteadiness around you and you rest in His arms while He leads you through.. 

"Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass...
It's about learning to dance in the rain."

Vivian Greene

Such a true quote. Life's weather is not always sunny.. storms come ... and we need to understand that "waiting" for the storm to pass doesn't heal our hearts from the damage it will cause. 

Time doesn't heal all wounds

it just passes

Time is a gift 

It's how and who you spend it with that makes the difference. 

I was speaking to a friend last night who is walking through her first year of grief. She seemed overwhelmed by all the healing before her. I told her don't worry about anything else right now.. just grieve.. grieve your loss in this time you've been given. Lean into it hard.. This is the only time you will be given the grace to do so.. If you wait those around you will lose the heart to help you.. time moves on and so do they..no one will ever understand your pain like you do.. they can't .. they haven't been given the grace to understand.. that kind of grace only comes from above.. and you only want it.. when you need it live. 

But 

the One who gives it knows your pain

and He's waiting with arms wide open 

ready to steady you 

and make what is intended for your bad

Into Good

&

I mean fairytale Good!

"And I've been told

To pick up my sword

And fight for love

Little did I know

That Love had won for me

Here in Your arms

You still my heart again

And I breathe You in

Like I've never breathed 'till now"

I'm not sure how He does it.. but if you accept the invitation to dance.. You will one day breathe again. Holding your breath won't be an option anymore.. because when you dance with the Him you breathe in the truth and love of His song written just for you. 

Time heals when you spend it with Him. 

During the dance He spins your bad round and round until it turns into the most glorious love story ever told. He can do this.. I'm a witness of His extraordinary goodness:)

This Sunday at church, Pastor Tom gave us permission to brag on our children. He stood before our church and spoke words of life to his son.. He told how proud he was to be his father.. It was a demonstration of living with a heart wide open .. Pointing us all to the heart of our Heavenly Father:) 

Our children need to hear words of affirmation and praise from us.. These words are the second most powerful words spoken to their hearts.. aside from our Father above.. So, I'm gonna brag a little bit.. I'm so proud of both of my sweet girls.. Maddison and Macie.. they have danced well through the storms..They have allowed God in .. and He is leading them into such hopeful futures.. I am amazed at how far both of them have come. I am so overwhelmed by the goodness God has shown them.. He is slowly rewriting a story line  meant for their bad into something so unbelievably good.. 

This picture captures so beautifully what God does..

 Turns what was meant for bad into His good.. 

So because I accepted the invite to dance when I didn't feel like it..

"When my faith gets tired

And my hope seems lost

You spin me round and round

And remind me of that song

The one You wrote for me

And we dance

And I will lock eyes

With the One who's ransomed me

The One who gave me joy for mourning

And I will lock eyes

With the One who's chosen me

The One who set my feet to dancing?"

He has given me great joy:)

Accept the Invite to dance

Here are a few of the lyrics to the song He sings to you..

The Sovereign Lord has filled me with his Spirit.

He has chosen me and sent me

To bring good news to you,

To heal your broken-heart. 

To announce release to captives

And freedom to those in prison.

 He has sent me to proclaim

That the time has come

When the Lord will save you

And defeat your enemies.

He has sent me to comfort all who mourn,

To give to those who mourn in Zion

Joy and gladness instead of grief,

A song of praise instead of sorrow.

You will be like trees

That the Lord himself has planted.

You will all do what is right,

And God will be praised for what he has done.

You will rebuild cities that have long been in ruins.

-Jesus

Isaiah 61

The Lord will provide- Day 7 Advent

The Lord will Provide




"Forever"
Kari Jobe

Today's Focus-

 Abraham, Isaac & The Mountain of Sacrifice...

God Called

Abraham answered

"Here I Am"

&

God Provided:) 

My focus today..

The Lord will provide:)

After reading the devotional this morning.. I said to myself, "Maybe I shouldn't journal today.."
I'm not sure I want to tackle such a real moment for myself..

Actually.. I wasn't called to do what Abraham was called to do.. to sacrifice my son. If I had been called to do that I'm sure I would have said back to the call .. "Here I Am Not!". Abraham had incredible faith.. He truly believed that if God had provided before that He would provide again.. and

 Wow!!! 

He did provide.. at just the right time.. He provided a Lamb.. an innocent Lamb.. and isn't that what He provides to us all.. The Lamb.. Himself.. Because what the song above says over and over is..

We sing Hallelujah 

THE LAMB 

HAS

OVERCOME!!!

Abraham took his son Issac up the mountain to build an alter.. an alter he had been building over and over in his mind as he climbed the mountain with his own son behind him carrying the wood for the alter. He never told his son what they were doing, but I'm sure Isaac felt the thoughts of his father..

I'm sure Abraham questioned God all the way up the mountain.. His heart must have been torn into pieces... and I'm sure God was right there with Him.. hearing and seeing every bit..

Alters are built in remembrance of when we see or experienced God.. Was this the whole point of this call to build an alter.. Not to look at death but to be looking to experience and see God Himself ...was it a clue to what Abraham was about to experience? Should this teach us not to set our sight on what we expect.. But to set our sight on expectancy of seeing Him?

"God always sees- and He will always see to it. That is all that ever matters: God always sees, and He will always see to the matter. Your legs may be weary and your heart may be heavy and your questions may be many, but whatever you are facing, it is always named Mount Moriah: the Lord will appear. The Lord sees. And He will see to it. And He will be seen. The act of God's seeing means God acts. God's observing means He always serves. This is the thing; your God's constant vision is your constant provision. You don't need to climb mountains named I will perform.You don't need to climb mountains named I will produce. Every mountain that every Christian ever faces, 

The Lord levels with sufficient grace: 

The Lord will Provide. " -Ann VosKamp

My mountain.. not at all like Abraham's mountain.. was also a place where God provided. He provided grace.. sufficiently. and He did provide a Lamb.. one that overcomes the mountain I faced and still face today... because He always gives grace.. He always gives Himself.. He gives Himself away to us each and everyday. The Lamb overcame death .. It took deaths place for Issac and in our larger perspective for how we live out life here on this earth... The Lamb takes the place of death for us and our loved ones that go on before us.. It's the only way to keep hope.. to keep our hearts pumping and living this life out well. Death is not and end to life.. Death has been overcome.. Death is a birth into another world.. one where the word death doesn't even exist... It has no place in Heaven.. because Heaven is a place where we will never leave... nor want to leave.. It's only in this world.. this side of Heaven that we need a way of escape.. Death.. it's a door.. and The Lamb who over came it has the key:) The lamb unlocks the door we see as death and opens us up to the most unimaginable place of grace ..

The Lamb gave Himself and gives Himself and will give Himself 

until we all are safely home on the other side..

I'm not feeling to well this morning, fever and cough.. I really wanted to stay home in bed.. but I felt like the one place I really needed to go was to visit His house.. be in His presence.. and then come back home and rest.. So, I heard the call.. "Come" and I answered "OK, here i am".. I jumped in my car already late.. turned up the radio .. and guess what I heard playing.. Mumford and Son's, "I will wait". I kind of giggled.. I said, "Lord, you must be trying to get my attention with this song.. it's playing everywhere I go.." I said quietly to myself.. "Lord, I will wait." and I reminded myself of today focus.. "The Lord will provide".. I believe the Lord spoke back to me.."Julie, you have set your heart on waiting for me this season.. and I'm so glad you've done so.. but what I would like you to know is I also always.. wait lovingly on you..This is not a one way relationship. I never ask you to do what I've not done Myself.. " I pondered that for a while and thought.. You know He's been waiting on me/us for a long time .. He's waiting on me/us to turn to Him.. to turn to His heart.. to accept the grace He has to offer us so we can climb those hard mountains ... He never forces Himself.. but He always offers Himself.. so if you needed to hear that today.. take it for yourself.. we wait.. and so does He:) When we wait on Him.. We Overcome ..Forever!

Waiting will bring back your laughter-Day 6 of Advent

"I will wait"

2Cellos

I love this version of "I will wait". The landscape and the music go beautifully together. I'm not sure where on this earth they filmed this video, but I'm sure it reflects a little bit of what Heaven looks like:) This place looks like a place you might want to retreat to when your waiting. 

So as we wait this Advent season..what are you waiting for? 

What are you hoping for? 

What has your heart longed for year after year? 

& 

You find yourself still waiting..

"Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a dream fulfilled is a tree of life."-

Proverbs 13:12

Waiting without real hope can make our hearts sick. It can cause us to let go of hope and never want to pick it up again. That's no way to live, but if we admit it.. parts of our hearts are dead because they were sick way too long waiting for hope to be UN-deferred. 

Today's devotional focus for Advent was about Sarah.

She was promised a son. 

After hope was deferred way to long she tried to do things in her own strength.. and it didn't turn out very well. 

At the ripe "Ol" age of 99..  Sarah must of felt the slow beat of a dying heart. She wanted a son. Her own son .. the one God had promised her.. the one she thought He forgot about.. The one she thought she would never get because of her big mess up with Hagar and Ishmael. 

Abraham was given a promise by God that Sarah laughed at..

Ann VosKamp's Children's book on Advent so wonderfully captures the moment..

"Abraham", God said, "everything is always more than it seems, more than you can see. I am doing unexpected things! I am sending you a child! And through that child, your family will grow big and the whole earth will be blessed." 

Abraham laughed happy. And when the news of a miracle child reached the ears of his wife, Sarah, she laughed too- but Sarah laughed sad. Sarah laughed the way you do when you think someone is teasing you, AND YOU LAUGH BRAVE SO YOU DON'T CRY HARD. Sometimes you use laughter like a shield to protect your heart. Could Sarah let down her guard and believe that God would be gentle with her dream to hold a child of her own? Sometimes when your heart hurts, your head hurts to believe."

Isn't that so true.. How many times have we felt that way? We laugh.. only because it protects us from doing what we really want to do.. cry.. but that would show our real heart.. and no one needs to see the real condition of our hearts.. its too much for us to look at let alone anyone else. 

So, we laugh and move on..

with a bitter 

sick

heart. 

And.. here is the HOPEFUL part.. this heart.. the one that laughs to protect itself.. will someday laugh with joy-filled tears streaming down her face because Jesus has proven Himself faithful to her hopeless dying heart. He did it with Sarah .. so why wouldn't He do it with us? 

Her battle was with His timing.. not His faithfulness. 

And really that is a hopeful word.. because if your still waiting .. He is still ready and willing to be 

faithful. The waiting on Him digs a deep well in our hearts and when He fills it with His hope.. His promised fulfilled.. We laugh and laugh until the whole world around us is touched in someway by the hope that now spills from our deep well of waiting.

The video above portrays this process so well.. In the tucked away times of life if we will surround ourselves with His living water.. His word.. His heart.. His people.. We will find ourselves immersed in His beauty and it will spill on us.. in us .. until we can pick up our own instruments and play along with His song.. The one that takes the different road when it emerges into the yellow wood. This song we learn in the tucked away times will lead us to real laughter.. 

The kind that comes from strength after admitting our weakness.. 

We admit our weakness to Jesus because that is when He is strongest. What we really fear is that He has left us.. given up on us.. and that is just not true. He waiting for the perfect time to give you what your heart deeply desires. 

"All fear comes from thinking that somewhere God's love will end. But God's unbeatable, unstoppable, unwrappable love for you will never, no matter what, end. So we can loosen up, because all our heavy, sad chains have been loosed, and we can laugh free. Because of Jesus, the other miracle Child who came to us, laughter comes to us too. And we get to hold the wonder of it close to us. Sadness is not the end of the story. Jesus is the end of our story.. and the beginning of our story and the BEST part of our story." Ann Voskamp

My desire was wholeness after the hollowing out..

After the waiting.. I'm beginning to laugh again.. He is bringing wholeness to me but what is far greater is the wholeness He is bringing to my home and my family. My greatest blessing this Christmas season is seeing both of my girls doing what fills them with joy. They are both in such a good place of life! YES!!!! I'm one who can laugh!! Laugh at what the enemy tried to steal.. our hearts.. The hollow hearts filled full now with His promised fulfilled. They are healing now in good ways..They are now a waterfall of life.. giving life to us all. I still have sad places in my heart.. I still miss Jack so much.. but I do get to see glimpses of his heart in the hearts of my girls.. I know some day Jack will say to us.."I'm so glad you waited .. I'm so glad you didn't give up .. I'm so glad you turned to Jesus and let Him heal your hearts...and I'm so glad you learned to live again with Joy and laughter. You have made me so proud!"

So with that being said..

in the midst of all the mess

we wait

we wait for Jesus

He's coming

He promised us that

wait for the 

laugh

because when it comes

It's oh so so good:)

"She is clothed in strength and dignity and she laughs without fear of the future."

Proverbs 31:25

"With or Without You?"

"With or Without You" 

U2

2 Cellos

 Today's advent devotional was about Noah. 

& 

How He found favor with the Lord.

As I was thinking this morning.. I heard this version of "With or Without You" by U2 playing softly in the background. I love this song! It reminds me of highschool and my first concert. It took me a few minutes to recognize the song at first.. but when I did the lyrics came flooding into my mind.. and I was reminded of the many times that I feel like I'm with or without God. You know those on and off moments with God. I bet Noah felt the same way during the building of the ark. I bet some days he was good and others.. he was like.. I dont even know what rain is?? 

Noah was called to build an ark that would save him and his family from the storm that was coming. 

This reminded me of a time when I felt like the Lord asked me to do the same. We were trying to heal as a family but everyone did it in a different way.

I felt like the Lord said,

  "Julie, build an ark to save yourself and your family." 

The ark was my heart. My heart was needing to be rebuilt and if I allowed Jesus in to help me rebuild it would someday become a safe place for me and others to find comfort and shelter. I obeyed the call but it wasn't easy when the storms kept coming. During the process of the rebuild I felt like the lyrics that go to the song above.. "I can't live with or without you."Somedays I was good living with Jesus close.. and some days I wasn't. It was a back and forth rhythm for a long time. I realize now that is just the growth process.. It was me learning to trust Jesus more and more with the rebuilding of my heart. There were many places that didn't trust Him.. so sometimes my broken heart took the lead and turned turn away from Him. I would experience the rebuild in my own strength and it would leave me weary and weak. This was not such a bad place because it was here that I learned to embrace my weakness, turn back to Jesus and fall into His arms. I would say.. I just cant do this on my own.. I need you.. I need something more than a natural view.. I need a supernatural view point of this earthy problem. He was always faithful to step back in with His strength. Again, the lyrics to the song above are so perfect.

 One verse says,

 "I can't live with or without you"

and the next verse says.. 

"And you give yourself away.. and you give..and you give.. and you give yourself away." 

The first verse reveals my humanity. It's hard to live in between two worlds. The one here where we are called to trust and know and understand without seeing. Some days we're good and some days we just don't want to tarry any longer.. I believe the Lord understands that we feel this way.. and He too longs for the day when we don't have to live "in between". I believe in all our turning back and forth He is always there.. giving Himself away to us .. giving and giving Himself away. He is the gift. He is always giving Himself away for us.. so rest today knowing.. its ok... He's with you.. even if you feel without Him:) 

So the lesson we learn from Noah is this..

with a mustard seed of faith we move close to Jesus

and work with Him 

by doing this we draw an invisible line in between us and evil

This is how we live in between both worlds..

the result

We become close friends with God

and we realize we can't live without Him:)

By faith, Noah built a ship in the middle of dry land. He was warned about something he couldn't see, and acted on what he was told. The result? His family was saved. His act of faith drew a sharp line between the evil of the unbelieving world and the rightness of the believing world. 

As a result, Noah became intimate with God. 

Hebrews 11:7

Where Are You? Day 3 of Advent

"You found me"
The Fray

This song reminds me of Job's questioning God.
Job's question was who are you? 

Where were you, God?
God, Listens patiently and answers with..
 "I'm so much bigger than your problems.. turn to me and I will take care of you:)


Where Are You? 

So my attempt to follow Advent this year is going good so far! I think it's because I'm following through the season with a couple of books I picked up this Sunday afternoon. 

 "The greatest Gift" 

by Ann Voskamp 

& 

"Unwrapping the Greatest Gift"

 by Ann Voskamp

I like them both because the first is for adults and the second is for kids. 

Both are a treasures to read each day. 

Today, Ann's focus for the day requires us to ask a question. 

Where Are You?

"Where are you in your life? 

Where are you- from Jesus? 

To get where you want to go, the first question you always have to ask is Where am I? 

We only find ourselves when we  find out where He is. 

We only find ourselves .. When we find Him. 

We lost ourselves at one tree .. And only find ourselves at another."

We died because of one tree, but if we turn to face the other tree 

we will find life and live it more abundantly. 

Isn't that what we all want? 

To find the secret to live a life well lived. 

I know I do.

So, where do we begin?

Ask yourself, Where am I?

Have you fallen short? Me too:)

"Whenever you fall, wherever you fall short, your God whispers to you with a love that wraps around you like a gentle arm; "Wherever you are, I will always come find you. Whatever you've done, I will always keep looking for you until My eyes see you, till My hands of healing reach you, till I can hold you close again to my heart." 

This is Jesus. 

This is His heart for us.

The enemies voice questions, confuses and accuses.

His favorite bait is

"God doesn't really love you. God doesn't really give you good enough things.

 God doesn't really give the gift of love all the time." 

and oh how he loves to ask these questions this time of the year.. 

Don't bite at the bait

his words spill from a wounded prideful heart that turned due to pride. 

pride will always keep you far far away from true authentic love. 

So let Ann's words below seep deep into your heart today. 

Let's be joyful that we have a Savior that is always looking to Save us:) 

"At one wooden tree in the Garden of Eden, we fell for the lie that God didn't love us, and we fell away from God and got lost. And at one wooden cross near the Garden of Gethsemane, God found us and stretched out His arms and proved forever and always and no matter what He loves us with an unconditional, unbeatable, unfailing, unwrapple love." 

As I thought about where I was at.. A smile came to my face. For many years I've worried about my children in all kinds of ways.. This year I can say I have such peace because I know without a shadow of doubt.. He is with them all no matter where they are at:) The best assurance out there:) 

"I've always loved You" Advent Day 2- Waiting in love

"I've always loved you"
- Third Day

December 2, 2014

I can't think of a better song to help us keep our focus on His love today:) Love this one from Third day:)

Advent

Today's focus is Creation. Genesis 1. The beginning of the perfect love story written about us and for us. To show us just how much God thought of us and loves us. 

 First this: God created the Heavens and Earth—all you see, all you don’t see. Earth was a soup of nothingness, a bottomless emptiness, an inky blackness. God’s Spirit brooded like a bird above the watery abyss. Genesis 1:1-2

One of my favorite passages in the bible.. God creates all we see and don't see out of nothingness.. out of a bottomless pit.. out of emptiness and inky blackness. 

Don't you feel sometimes like this could describe the life your living now?

If so.. He's brooding over your life just waiting to make something wonderful of it.

His heart.. His love broods over your life, your heart. He is waiting to create.. He is waiting to make new life. He is love and it's active in your life. 

Just open the eyes of your heart and see

See Him brooding

See Him smiling 

See Him loving

He created us for His pleasure.. 

Thou art worthy, O Lord, to receive glory and honour and power: for thou hast created all things, and for thy pleasure they are and were created.- Revelation 4:11

He created us to bring Him pleasure.. Wow!! 

Think about that..

He didn't create us 1st to be His Doers

He didn't create us so He could keep tabs on our wrongs

He created us because we bring Him pleasure:) He loves us

We must know this before anything else:)

This is what real love is.. 

 Love never gives up. 

Love cares more for others than for self. 

Love doesn't want what it doesn't have. 

Love doesn't strut

Doesn't have a swelled head

Doesn't force itself on others, Isn't always "me first," 

Doesn't fly off the handle, 

Doesn't keep score of the sins of others, 

 Doesn't revel when others grovel, 

Takes pleasure in the flowering of truth,

 Puts up with anything, 

Trusts God always, 

Always looks for the best, 

Never looks back, 

But keeps going to the end. 

Love never dies. 

Today lets focus on Love.. 

This is what Jesus showed us while He was here on earth:) 

This Christmas, I will wait

"I will wait"

Mumford & Sons

I do love Mumford and Sons! There is something about their songs that point me to a deeper meaning. As I looked for a song to illustrate my thoughts, this one seemed to go perfectly. 

Advent defined as "A coming; the coming of our Savior." 

I've always wanted to follow Advent... but I always seemed to get sidetracked by the busyness of the season... or my focus on "lack" or "grief". This year I want to do it differently.. I want a slow down and follow.. or shall I say "wait"?

I love the lyrics in the song above. They so describe my heart for this season.. "I will wait for You".

I chose those words because when you need your memories of past Christmases to change from bad to good.. that's what you do.. You wait for Jesus to change them. 

This Christmas will be the 10th year of Christmases without Jack. It has been a long road for us all.. but today I can honestly say Jesus has helped our hearts heal in a way that we can begin to enjoy Christmas again. 

A couple of weeks ago I began feeling the nudge to look up the definition to the word Expectancy. 

I felt like the Lord was saying: 

"Julie, focus your sight on Expectancy not Expectation. For so many years you have focused on your expectations (on the outcome of things) and they did not go well, so you gave up hope. This year focus on expectancy (waiting for Me to show up) and see how things go and this will grow your hope in me." 

So, I agreed to go on the journey with Him this Christmas season. I'm setting my focus on Him and not the outcome of things. This will be a season of waiting and looking for the good in all things:)

I looked up Expectancy and Expectation.. wow!! What a wonderful focus it brought to where I spend my attention..

Expectancy - The act of expecting; HOPE; a looking for with pleasure. 

Expectation - The act of expecting or looking forward to a future event with at least some reason to believe the event will happen.  

Here is the difference between the two

Expectancy originates in desire and may exist with little or no ground of belief that the desired event will arrive. 

Expectations are founded on some reasons which renders the event probable. 

Expectancy  directs us to focus on "something good"

Expectations are directed to good or BAD. 

A couple of things went through my mind as I read the definitions. 

Expectancy is born from desire.. "Delight (hope) in the Lord, He will give you the desires of your heart"- Psalm 37:4  Expectancy is from the Lord.. it is His desire for us to be looking for Him and His good. 

Expectancy can be held on to with little or no ground for belief. "If you had faith the size of a mustard seed, you could say to this black mulberry tree, 'Be pulled out by the roots and planted in the sea,' and it would obey you. "- Luke 17:6  The Lord doesn't expect us to have great faith to see His goodness..

Expectancy- looks for something good:) Jesus is always good.. He always brings good.. Even if your sight at the time can only see bad. If you hold on and wait.. He will heal your heart so you can see His good. This is what allows us to live again after great suffering.
 "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose."- Romans 8:28

Expectations- They focus on good or bad.. that definition makes me think it's based on what we see by natural sight.. not by supernatural sight. I'm not trying to say we ignore the bad.. because it will show up.. Jesus promised us that.. He warned us of that.. but He said that if we wait and walk with Him through our suffering we will also get to share in His glory:) There is always a supernatural victory on the other side of your earthly suffering. "We overcome evil with good."- Romans 12:21  We train our sight to see expectations in a supernatural way.. we learn to see the good so it will help us overcome the bad.

Summed up.. Expectations are not bad to have as long as we look at them the right way. On this earth we will all live in between the pain of this world and the promises of His word. So, We look at the good and bad and wait in expectancy to see how Jesus handles the outcome:) We always leave room for Jesus..We wait:)

And so for this season.. this advent...Jesus, "I will wait, I will wait for You" in expectancy of your good for each and every outcome:)