Joy is found in the mourning

Grief and mourning are considered by many to be one in the same ...
Not true. Grief is the feelings you feel over something you've lost. Mourning is acting out what you feel. It is the actual act of sorrowing. What I have come to discover as I journey through great sorrow is that all people grieve, most do not mourn. Most of us keep our "feelings of grief" over something we've lost stuffed deep down in our hearts. We do this either because we feel like it is not important enough to deal with or that we have no one to help us deal with it. We also fail to see the importance of dealing with it. "Weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning."Psalms 30:5, KJV
This scripture hit me with such meaning this "morning"
Joy is found in the "act of sorrowing"... dealing with, acting out, working through our pain is where we find joy! Simply put, God wants us to deal with our hurts, losses and disappointments because that is the only way He can deliver us.. give us joy. He is always available to offer joy, however we are not always willing to offer him our grief..
What is your grief? Are you willing to allow yourself to sorrow for what you have lost? God is waiting...

If you've knelt beside the rubble of an aching, broken heart,When the things you gave your life to fell apart;You're not the first to be acquainted with sorrow, grief or pain,But the Master promised sunshine after the rain.Hold on my child, joy comes in the morning,Weeping only lasts for the night;Hold on my child, joy comes in the morning,The darkest hour means dawn is just in sight.To invest your seed of trust in God in mountains you can't move,You have risked your life on things you cannot prove;But to give the things you cannot keep for what you cannot lose,Is the way to find the joy God has for you.Hold on my child, joy comes in the morning,Weeping only lasts for the night;Hold on my child, joy comes in the morning,The darkest hour means dawn is just in sight.The darkest hour means dawn is just in sight.Just in sight!

"We are the Outsiders"

Do you ever feel like an outsider?
Walking out God's will for our lives is not easy. For the short time that my eyes have been open to see the path, I have strayed and stumbled many times. For me, keeping in step with the path requires me to stay connected to a rhythm, or a certain melody that is often hard to hear. It changes from season to season, which means it's never predictable. I often feel lost and alone because no one else seems to hear what I hear. Sometimes, I feel like I'm the only one out on the dance floor... and you know what that looks like! "Look at that poor girl! She has no one to dance with". On the contrary, if I stay connected to God's word, it assures me that the dance floor is full! It's filled with other "outsiders" dancing on the dance floor of life. We get to that dance floor by seeing it with the eyes of our heart. Our hearts play the tune we must dance to and often it requires us to dance when we think we should be "sitting this one out". When we choose to tune in and listen, God will move us to dance on an empty dance floor. It's only empty because of the circumstances that surround us. Jesus told us not to lose heart even when circumstances are hindering our ability to dance... He told us we would have troubles.. times where we would not feel like dancing.. He said, "Do not lose heart, Pray". So, when my heart is heavy due to what I see... I reach over and push "pray" on the ipod in my heart... and once again ... I find that I can dance. Our hearts are the ultimate ipod, because the songs are downloaded from the heart of God.
I wanted to share this song... it allowed me to dance again yesterday!!!
It makes a great point... "If you're not laughing, who is laughin now? -

"Face To Face"

Had to share my "Streams in the desert" with you this morning. It went well with this song...

My struggles only bring me "face to face" with the only one who can bring me comfort.

Enjoy-

"And he took him aside from the multitude."(Mark 7:33.)

PAUL not only stood the tests in Christian activity, but in the solitude of captivity. You may stand the strain of the most intense labor, coupled with severe suffering, and yet break down utterly when laid aside from all religious activities; when forced into close confinement in some prison house.

That noble bird, soaring the highest above the clouds and enduring the longest flights, sinks into despair when in a cage where it is forced to beat its helpless wings against its prison bars. You have seen the great eagle languish in its narrow cell with bowed head and drooping wings. What a picture of the sorrow of inactivity.

Paul in prison. That was another side of life. Do you want to see how he takes it? I see him looking out over the top of his prison wall and over the heads of his enemies. I see him write a document and sign his name, not the prisoner of Festus. nor of Caesar; not the victim of the Sanhedrin; but the"prisoner to the Lord." He saw only the hand of God in it all. To him the prison becomes a palace. Its corridors ring with shouts of triumphant praise and joy.

Restrained from the missionary work he loved so well, he now built a new pulpit, a new witness stand and from that place of bondage come some of the sweetest and most helpful ministries of Christian liberty. What precious messages of light come from those dark shadows of captivity.

Think of the long train of imprisoned saints who have followed in Paul's wake. For twelve long years Bunyan's lips were silenced in Bedford jail. It was there that he did the greatest and best work of his life. There he wrote the book that has been read next to the Bible. He says, "I was at home in prison and I sat me down and wrote, and wrote, for joy did make me write."

The wonderful dream of that long night has lighted the pathway of millions of weary pilgrims. That sweet-spirited French lady, Madam Guyon, lay long between prison walls. Like some caged birds that sing the sweeter for their confinement, the music of her soul has gone out far beyond the dungeon walls and scattered the desolation of many drooping hearts.

Oh, the heavenly consolation that has poured forth from places of solitude! --- S. C. Rees.

Taken aside by Jesus, To feel the touch of His hand; To rest for a while in the shadow Of the Rock in a weary land. Taken aside by Jesus, In the loneliness dark and drear, Where no other comfort may reach me, Than His voice to my heart so dear. Taken aside by Jesus, To be quite alone with Him, To hear His wonderful tones of love 'Mid the silence and shadows dim. Taken adise by Jesus, Shall I shrink from the desert place; When I hear as I never heard before, And see Him "face to face"?

How to find Joy Again

My goal this year was to find joy again; that abundant life that Jesus talks about...My devotion this morning from "Streams in the desert" showed me where to find it..

Enjoy...

Joined in God

"As sorrowful, yet always rejoicing" (2 Cor. 6:10).

Sorrow was beautiful, but her beauty was the beauty of the moonlight shining through the leafy branches of the trees in the wood, and making little pools of silver here and there on the soft green moss below.When Sorrow sang, her notes were like the low sweet call of the nightingale, and in her eyes was the unexpectant gaze of one who has ceased to look for coming gladness. She could weep in tender sympathy with those who weep, but to rejoice with those who rejoice was unknown to her.Joy was beautiful, too, but his was the radiant beauty of the summer morning. His eyes still held the glad laughter of childhood, and his hair had the glint of the sunshine's kiss. When Joy sang his voice soared upward as the lark's, and his step was the step of a conqueror who has never known defeat. He could rejoice with all who rejoice, but to weep with those who weep was unknown to him."But we can never be united," said Sorrow wistfully."No, never." And Joy's eyes shadowed as he spoke. "My path lies through the sunlit meadows, the sweetest roses bloom for my gathering, and the blackbirds and thrushes await my coming to pour forth their most joyous lays.""My path," said Sorrow, turning slowly away, "leads through the darkening woods, with moon-flowers only shall my hands be filled. Yet the sweetest of all earth-songs--the love song of the night--shall be mine; farewell, Joy, farewell."Even as she spoke they became conscious of a form standing beside them; dimly seen, but of a Kingly Presence, and a great and holy awe stole over them as they sank on their knees before Him."I see Him as the King of Joy," whispered Sorrow, "for on His Head are many crowns, and the nailprints in His hands and feet are the scars of a great victory. Before Him all my sorrow is melting away into deathless love and gladness, and I give myself to Him forever.""Nay, Sorrow," said Joy softly, "but I see Him as the King of Sorrow, and the crown on His head is a crown of thorns, and the nailprints in His hands and feet are the scars of a great agony. I, too, give myself to Him forever, for sorrow with Him must be sweeter than any joy that I have known.""Then we are one in Him," they cried in gladness, "for none but He could unite Joy and Sorrow."Hand in hand they passed out into the world to follow Him through storm and sunshine, in the bleakness of winter cold and the warmth of summer gladness, "as sorrowful yet always rejoicing."

"Should Sorrow lay her hand upon thy shoulder,

And walk with thee in silence on life's way,

While Joy, thy bright companion once, grown colder,

Becomes to thee more distant day by day?

Shrink not from the companionship of Sorrow,

She is the messenger of God to thee;

And thou wilt thank Him in His great tomorrow-

For what thou knowest not now, thou then shalt see;

She is God's angel, clad in weeds of night,

With 'whom we walk by faith and not by sight.'"

- L. B. Cowman

Be strong and couragous

Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go."

- Joshua 1:9

Macie, my 13 year old daughter, needed help with her homework. It was about 10:00pm and I was tired and honestly did not want to participate. My husband and I had just returned from a long day of moving my oldest daughter, Maddie (age 19) into her new apartment at school. My day had been filled with 5 hours of car travel, a Walmart visit, buying, moving, and assembling furniture, decorating on shoe string budget, praying “she” would like it… and most importantly trying to enjoying an afternoon with my daughter, whom I rarely get to see.
Simply said- My brain was fried!
I know you can relate….But, Macie could not… and at the innocent age of 13, she didn't need to relate just yet. “Helping” at any time of the day still fits my job description. And with the current job market, I certainly can’t afford to lose this job. So, silently I gave myself a pep talk-

“Julie- you can do this! It’s only an 8th grade reading assignment. Read the one page essay; explain it and all will be good."

What I didn't realize was that the assignment was going to be more for me than her!
“Come on Macie, this wont take long at all”.

Re-energized by my pep talk, I grabbed her homework and began to read and translate “Self Reliance”; an essay written by Ralph Waldo Emerson.

You know by now, one would think that I’d be able to recognize God’s way of getting my attention. Once again, I am blessed by Him for just doing my job…being present and actually listening to what my girls have to say. He likes to use my children to speak to me. I think He uses them because honestly, I don’t always take the time to listen… and when I do, I am often blessed by what I hear. It is one of His calling cards, using the weak to help the strong.
The essay was about the importance of being you, and living in the moment of each day. Mr. Emerson pleads with his reader to “simply believe your own thoughts.” He goes on to explain that we underestimate the value of ourselves and our personal thoughts. We are always looking to someone else to be the smarter one, the wiser one, and the chosen one. His challenge to the reader is - To believe what is true for you in your private heart is true for others as well… “Speak what is true for you, and it will almost always resonate in others”.
The voice in our own mind is so familiar to us. We give it no respect. Instead we give more weight to the thoughts of others; our neighbors, our teachers or some great thinker from the past. So, I pondered the question, “What makes great thinkers great?” The answer: “They don’t disregard their own thoughts and look to someone else’s thought to be better. “ They move ahead confidently living a purpose filled life while I sit back and wonder, what about me?
Yes, I too have been guilty of wondering why everyone else has been given a plan and wonderful purpose for their life. Emerson says that way of thinking is just a sign of my ignorance.
“Envy is ignorance; imitation is suicide.”- Emerson
I have something unique, original, and great to express. Trying to imitate someone else only kills off the originality of “me”. Envy is a lack of appreciation of my own special gifts. I will never know what my special gifts are until I try to express them. I must find them by paying close attention to the interests placed inside of me by my Heavenly Father. They will reflect the “one of a kind” miracle God made me to be. For the miracle of “me” to be expressed, it will take courage and dedication. The greatness of the One who created me cannot be expressed through a coward.
Remember the Cowardly Lion who lived in the fictional Land of Oz. He was not your typical lion. Lions were made to be courageous and fearless kings. Oz’s Cowardly Lion never acted like a king. He was afraid of everything. He lacked the courage to face his fears because he was always running from them. What he failed to realize was that courage would come through facing his fears. Only after he receives the Wizard's gift, is he not filled with fear.

Our Father gives us the same gifts through the Holy Spirit. So, be brave and true to the creation God intended “you” to be! Put your heart into your work and be aware of what interests you. Follow these interests with sincerity! Listen and trust the holy spirits voice with in you! And soon you will find yourself moving closer to who you truly are: An original work of art, a “one of a kind”, a genius, a creator, a witness to the reality of redemption, a teacher and a force of good passing through this world.

May you live today with the courage and strength to be you!

Julie Peck

My Friend, Missy Morgan

Missy Morgan is my friend! I say that to make a point…
The fact that I cannot physically see her doesn’t end our relationship..
It will continue because now I see her through the eyes of my heart…

Last year, I stumbled across a sentence that made me question God…
“God created the Heavens and Earth—all you see, all you don't see.”
Gen. 1:1
All we see and don’t see? What in the world does that mean?
Why would God’s choose these words to be His first words written to us in the bible?
My question led me to a very comforting answer … That has opened my eyes to see “the unseen things”. They taught me how to see what I don’t see…. So I can live with what I do see….

If truth be known, I was a teensy bit afraid to be Missy’s friend.
Why?
Because I didn’t want her to ever know the pain I knew.

Who would have ever dreamed that Missy Morgan’s and Julie Peck’s paths would cross?

A mother who had just lost a son and a mother whose greatest fear was to lose a son.

I remember the week we first met. It was June of 2006, our first time serving at the “Lighthouse”. Smith suggested that we go because a good friend of his … thought the mission of the lighthouse reflected the heart of JSP’s newly birthed vision. Another reason ….that wasn’t mentioned, but clearly understood by both of us… was personal..
We were also going because we learned early on…while traveling our own journey of grief …..That somehow…. helping others helped us… It demanded our full attention which forced our eyes to focus on something besides our own pain.

The Morgan’s were returning to the lighthouse to enjoy their 2nd visit. The year before they had been had served by an amazing family, “The Howards “who are still their close friends today. They also experienced meaningful connections with caring volunteers.
But, most importantly they connected with fellow warriors who were also battling cancer.
I am sure that Missy came to have fun, to be loved on, to rest and relax and enjoy much needed time together with her family.
I came to serve, make new friends, fold and wash clothes, make beds, and to hopefully make life a little easier that week for a family who needed a break from late night hospital check in’s because someone had spiked another fever..

What happened when our paths collided with our own agenda’s?

Let me take you behind the scenes...

30 min before we met the Morgan’s I decided to take a moment to learn about Ryan’s cancer. My eyes had never seen the word neouroblastoma before. I walked into my room, closed the door turned on the television, and grabbed my paperwork hoping to find a definition to this word. Needless to say, I could not find the medical dictionary that I thought may have been included. Somewhat satisfied with not understanding, I heard a voice on the television that by chance had been turned on to a show that was explaining the history of Alex’s Lemonade stand. Alex had neoroblastoma too…. Wow what a coincidence…. As I listen I became quickly aware of the weight this word carried. It didn’t take too long before I found myself crying in my bedroom asking God “Why”….I know that day I was unaware of the why.. But God was not..

It was no coincidence that Missy and I became friends the summer of 2006. God orchestrates our lives- “From one man he made every nation of men that they should inhabit the whole earth; and he determined the times set for them and the exact places where they should live.” – Acts 17:26
It is no accident which neighborhood you grew up in, who lived next door, who went to school with you, who is part of your church, and who works with you. Our relationships are appointed by God, so there’s every reason for me to believe that our friendship was appointed by God as well and it will continue in Heaven. God’s plan doesn’t stop on the Earth- Friendships that begin here on Earth will continue in Heaven.
When God said, “It is not good for man to be alone” –Genesis 2:18, He was speaking not only of marriage but also of the need for friendship. He was saying, I’ll make these people so that they’ll need one another.”
Did we need one another? I surely didn’t think so... But as the week came to an end, I forced myself to confess my past to Missy and she said back to me… “Julie, I am not sure why, but I know in my heart that we were suppose to know one another”
I am thankful today for our friendship. It was not always an easy one… we did have many moments of laughter and I am very thankful for that.. But we also had moments that I brought me to my knees..
I will never forget the conversation we had sharing lunch at the McDonalds’ located across the street from Scottish rite…
“Julie, I never planned on having cancer… I never planned on my son having cancer” she said as she casually took a bite of her “Fish Filet” my reply … honest silence ….because none of us plan for the bad… there were no words to offer … just a look that offered love.
Or the conversation we had this past November at Emory hospital. As she was waiting to be released by the doctors to go home… she turned to me and said… “I guess I will get to meet Jackson...”
That was Missy Morgan for you.. Always looking at the glass half full…and speaking the truth! Her honesty gives me peace today. With that statement she gave me assurance of where she was sure that she was going… and I cannot wait to see her again..
As I reflected this week on our friendship I remember something that happened the day after Jack died. I just happened to open my bible which I had never opened before on my own....My eyes fell to a page that had been scribble on by Jack… The verse I read was Isaiah 43:10 it said…
“You are my witnesses and my servant, whom I have chosen..”
June 2006, Missy and I agreed to begin a relationship. A friendship forged between “two soldiers” on the battlefield of life. Our Mission, that was unknown at the time… was to witness to one another. Missy witnessed to me a life lived to the fullest no matter what the circumstances were… I witnessed to her a life that could be restored and lived again to the fullest no matter what the circumstances were… Nothing can ever replace the loving relationship we shared while fighting the heart breaking battles of this life.
I know when I get to Heaven I will remember my experience of fighting side by side with Missy Morgan in trenches of this fallen Earth.
She has had and will continue to have a profound influence on my life.
I will miss her greatly …. Until we meet again!

“We have not lost our dear ones who have departed from this life, but have merely sent them ahead of us, so we also shall depart and shall come to that life where they will be more than ever dear as they will be better known to us, and where we shall love them without fear of parting.” – Augustine

"I hoped that you could understand, This is not what I had planned" - Love God

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This past week has brought many tears. I have watched my friends, The Morgan Family "bear the unbearable". My heart breaks back into a million pieces to see this family (who witnessed to my family selfless love for one another)loose a mother, wife and son. Death is once again waking others to the reality of this life.
After walking 5 years through my own heart shattering event, I have learned many truths that have filled and binded it back together again. I must admit that this week's events have tested the cords that bind my fragile heart. Fear came back again pointing it's bony finger in my face. It made me question all that I believe to be true today.
Once again, God put my fears to rest and reassured me of His love for me. He also gave me the strength to do what I have done so many times before.... reach out and break the bony finger fear keeps waving in my face! I laugh because I know the doctor who tends to my fear has to be out of finger splints by now!

I wanted to share a song that spoke to my heart as I tried to out-run my grief on the running trail yesterday. I pleaded with God for an answer.... and this is what He said........

Listen and enjoy.."More Time" by needtobreathe (I posted the words below)

God bless all who are like me -struggling to understand-
Love,
Julie

More from JASMiNE_JUiCY14 at Myxer

God Say's:
"I promised you the world again
Everything within my hands
All the riches one could dream
They will come from me

I hoped that you could understand
That this is not what I had planned
Please don't worry now
It will turn around

Cause I need more time
Just a few more months and we'll be fine
So say what's on your mind
Cause I can't figure out just what's inside

I hoped that you could understand
That this is not what I had planned
Please don't worry now
It will turn around

Cause I need more time
Just a few more months and we'll be fine
So say what's on your mind
Cause I can't figure out just what's inside
So say alright
Cause I know we can make it if we try
Cause I need more time

Just a few more months and we'll be fine

We're off to new lands
So hold on to my hands
It's gonna be alright
It's a whole lot brighter
So stand by the fire
It's gonna be alright
Yeah, the road gets harder
But it's not much farther
It's gonna be alright
You know that it ain't easy
Please believe me
It's gonna be alright

Please don't worry now
It will turn around

Cause I need more time
Just a few more months and we'll be fine
So say what's on your mind
Cause I can't figure out just what's inside
So say alright
Cause I know we can make it if we try
Cause I need more time
Just a few more months and we'll be fine"