Is that all it takes?

I have been studying the story of Lazarus, Martha and Mary with hopes to end with a written bible study that will help others through the 2ND stages of grief. My focus has been on Martha and how she reacted to the death of her brother. I have found in this story a beautiful pearl (or mustard seed) of wisdom. I saw how Martha’s small, mustard seed-sized faith transitioned to full trust that would allow Jesus to heal her broken heart. The transition happened when she finally dropped her expectations of how her life should have been! When she finally let go and let God, the prayers from her grief-stricken, broken heart were answered abundantly beyond what she could have ever thought to ask for! Beyond her wildest dreams!
I began to put myself in her shoes (or sandals) and a new thought dawned on me.
A huge part of me died the night Jack went to Heaven. For the past 4 years, I have been trying to understand and figure out why I could not find a whole lot of joy in my life. Coping and struggling through the motions of “every day” was how I was getting by. I missed the old me, the one who could laugh and have fun. Where did that part of me go? That “happy” part of me seemed to have died after going through such heavy grief. What really began to bother me was the statement Jesus said, “I came that they may have life, and have it abundantly.”John 10:10 Where was this abundant life? I began to dig through my bible. I found that right before He makes this promise, He reminds us that: “The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I came that they may have life, and have it abundantly.”John 10:10
It hit me like a ton of bricks… Jack, my son, was not going to be raised from the dead like Lazarus. He was not going to walk out of a tomb to live again with me here on this earth. However, if I truly believed what the bible said, I would understand that Jack wasn’t the one who needed to be raised from the dead… He is alive in Heaven. I’m the one that needs to be raised from the dead! The power of Jesus will be seen in the miracle of resurrecting “Julie Peck” from the” joyless living dead” to a new life of joyfully living!
The thief did his part, just like God promised us! He killed, He Stole and He Destroyed! And I was allowing him to do it over and over again on a daily basis! What I was failing to realize was, if I focused my eyes on Jesus, trusted Him, and dropped my expectations of how I thought my life should be…. He would give me a new life to live more abundantly!
I know, it’s a hard one to grasp on a daily, moment by moment basis. But, reality is, this is my new life, and Jackson Smith Peck has a new home. So, what and who am I going to believe? The one who keeps lying to me... Or the one who promise’s me a new joyful life? Understanding that from death comes new life brings a new joy to life. It puts everything into a new perspective. Jackson got to go home at the age of 4 because finished what he came here to do. I’m still here, so I must not be finished! No sense is wasting the rest of my life with why’s and what if’s! Instead, I’m going to choose God’s plan by letting go and letting God! I want just what Martha got; answers to my prayers that are abundantly beyond what I could ever think to ask for! Beyond my wildest dreams!