Tuesday, March 15, 2016

Climbing Everest




"Today is your day! Your mountain is waiting. So... get on your way."
Dr. Suess

"The summit is just a halfway point." 
-Ed Viesturs

I am in year twelve of the journey of living the loss of my four-year-old son. Day one of this trip looked impossible. Today, as I look back, it blows my mind how I've made it to this point without losing heart. Along the way, I have met many who have. They allowed the ending of their stories to be written by the thief who stole what was not his to steal.

I get it. I've been in their shoes. Life isn't fair, and when you're faced with this sobering reality, you must choose: Will I believe the thief, or will I believe the One who can redeem what the thief has stolen? The choice is as old as time (Adam and Eve were the first to exercise this choice).

In the midst of a tragic circumstance the choice isn't clear, and it isn’t easy.

Facing one of the cruelest realities of life, the death of my child, forced me to look beyond myself. My heart could not accept any form of human reasoning; none of it was big enough to hold the pain. What I needed could only come from above. I needed Jesus and the evidence Heaven offers me about death. His resurrection is the evidence, and our reconciliation is the future promise. This truth gave me hope, and helped me make a very powerful decision: I chose to allow God to write redemption into my story of loss. That choice has made all the difference.

I can see the difference now, but I remember a time when I saw only a mountain of problems. So many problems surface with grief. The first problem is learning to embrace grief and to mourn so you can receive comfort. We want to push grief far away because it requires us to feel the pain of loss. We don't want to hurt any more than we do already, so we rush through the process and miss the grace and comfort needed for healing. Grief also has a way of exposing all the other areas of brokenness in your life. Many blame grief for the problems that occur after loss, but it is my opinion that grief exposes problems that were there before the loss. Grief lays you bare. By welcoming God into your grief, He can multitask. He can heal your whole heart, not just part of it.

So, with this hope we choose His plan and accept the challenge to climb the mountain. He helps us build a team that will guide and support us during the climb. This team is made up of wise counsel and fellow climbers. These two components are essential for a safe and effective climb. But, even with their help, the climb is brutal and bloody; it is dangerous and daunting. In order to ascend, you will meet the monsters of grief and broken places. You will become overwhelmed and tired; you will question why you ever chose to put yourself through this pain; you will want to give up; you will scream and cry, but you must keep going because to turn around is fatal, and you want those who are following you to see that healing is possible. You want to challenge the impossibility of climbing to the summit of grief and making it there alive and being transformed by the journey.

Today, I've made it to the summit. I've scaled grief and brokenness and for the first time feel peace and see fruit. I feel I have been given a second chance to do life.

I let out a sigh of relief, and I enjoy the view from the top. I sit for a moment and allow the sun to shine upon my face. I enjoy the victory. I rest. At first, I think the battle is over. But, now I'm sensing that the battle isn’t finished and that I need to be as intentional on the way down as I was on the way up.

 It’s a round trip. Getting to the summit is optional, getting down is mandatory. (Ed Viesturs)

The Lord is now teaching me it's a round trip. An experienced mountain climber, Ed Viesturs, says when you plan to climb a mountain you must remember, "It's a round trip. Getting to the summit is optional, getting down is mandatory.” If you make it all the way to the summit but die making your way back down, the whole trip is meaningless. So, how hard could it be going down? I've done the most difficult work so what else could there be?

While enjoying my summit perch, I watched the movie, Everest. The movie spoke to my spirit about the next part of my journey. There are many life lessons in the film, but the one that stuck out the most was:

         More people die on the way down the mountain than on the way up.

Wow, can you believe that? It baffled me. I felt the Lord saying, Julie, pay close attention to that statistic. The way down will not be easy. Remember, you've spent 30 years living in a way that built the mountain you just summited. Now it's going to take intentionality in learning how to live differently.  In the descent of your mountain, you will still be learning.
I thought the point of the climb was to summit. I was wrong. There is more.

After the success of a hard climb, we often let our guard down. With the goal completed, some fall into depression or sin from boredom or complacency. You've battled the loss of a loved one, wrestled with the worries of a prodigal, let go of your home, and now you've reached the summit, and life is less chaotic. Now it's time to head back down. So you think it's all downhill from here. With your pride inflated by your recent victories and your physical body weak from the climb, you begin to descend. You think, I've got this now. I don't need anyone's help, and I'm sure they are tired of praying for me. You quit counseling and let go of your community. These are the two major mistakes, and they can be deadly.

The challenge coming down the mountain is, Can I live in peace after I've lived in the chaos of the battle for so long? Remember, the summit is just a halfway point. I think the difference between life and death after you climbed your Everest is sticking with the plan you put into place to climb it.

Today, I feel the Lord giving me my tools for the descent. He is showing me that prayer will be my most valuable tool. I have been learning that daily aligning with Him brings His peace and authority. I have also learned about my role in interceding for family and friends. He wants me to join with Him to help bring Heaven’s plans to earth. Another valuable tool for the descent is watching for pride. Many times it sneaks in through the door of entitlement. I've worked this hard so I deserve (blank), or I've come this far, and this is all I get? I'm quitting and going after what I want. Marriages fail, friendships are severed, and fortunes lost because we let the summit experience be the end. It's not. It's a round trip, and we need to make it down the mountain for the summit to mean anything to us and those following us.

I want my climb to mean something, and I don't want to die on the way down. There is too much at stake. I will be preparing for the descent and will keep you updated on what I learn along the way.

Thursday, January 7, 2016

Weary one, grab hold of My hand.


"Good, good Father"
Housefires


I'm feeling a bit weary this week. Looking at a new year of endless possibilities, I find myself questioning. Am I up for the challenge? Am I worthy or adequate to blaze a new trail this year? Do I dare dream that there is a bigger hope to dream for the impossible to become possible? 

Stepping out to grow and lead others to dream is a bit scary.  God doesn't send us a detailed list of to-do's for the year. He wants us to lean in and pray and listen to His still small voice. He wants us to follow the next nudge that leads to the next nudge. This process to me feels a little like walking blindfolded to my next destination. I never really know where we are going, but when I get there He always gives me a gift. You give Him your heart, thoughts, hands and feet and He gives you His grace, presence and power to accomplish the impossible. The gift is really a new part of  "you" that looks more like Him at the end of the process. What He produces through you is only a bonus.  I know how this process works by looking back at past trails and yet I still find myself struggling again with the invitation to blaze a new one. The blindfold goes back on and I'm forced to accepted that I don't know the next step. I struggle for a week or two and hear Him say, humble yourself. He wants me to realize I'm not the one in charge. He reminds me that our last journey took me to this new trail but this journey won't look like the last. Our last journey grew me and my faith. It developed some character and some fruit but the point of the journey was trust. His question at the beginning of every new journey is will you trust me more? Will you trust that I love you and care for you more than anyone you know? Will you trust me to show up right on time with just what you need to take the next step? Will you let go just a little bit more of your plan and accept more of mine? 

When I focus on my plans it gives me anxiety. I think about what He has called me to do and I have no idea how to do it on my own. He calls us to heavenly tasks so earthly plans do not exist. When I begin planning on my own, He allows me to feel overwhelmed. This is what doing His plan in your own strength feels like. 

It's His way of saying,  "Lay your worries of 'how" back down at my feet and come to me. Come and bring me your heart, thoughts and worries. I want to hear your voice speak these concerns to Me. Allow Me to lift My responsibilities from you and give you My peace. You will only accomplish My tasks by allowing Me to do them through you. So for now, let Me pour My love into your heart. Set your eyes on Mine and see that I'm here for "you", not your "to do". My whole focus is you and the healing of your heart."

We get so bogged down in God "using us". His plans are to use us, but it's not with a slavery mindset. We are not His "minion's", we are His children. Minions are only good while they produce. When they get weary, they get replaced. Children are nurtured and developed through a loving relationship to be in community. This community works together and provides a space for the weary to rest, not be replaced. Our Good Father is more concerned about maturing us and conditioning our hearts with His love. We can produce so much more when we first feel loved and taken care of by Him. His focus is relationship, not ownership. When He returns He will recognize those who sat at His feet and conversed with Him. Those who shared their hearts with Him and allowed Him to share His heart with us. He is the One who gives us tasks and instruction. The temptation for us is to do things on our own. We can do mighty things in His name and still never know Him. What will He say to those people who did things on their own? 

“Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only the one who does the will of my Father who is in heaven. Many will say to me on that day, ‘Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name and in your name drive out demons and in your name perform many miracles? Then I will tell them plainly, ‘I never knew you. Away from me, you evildoers!’ Matthew 7:21-23


"Evildoers", doing things He did not ask us to do. Have you ever had someone do something for you that you didn't ask them to do? This person may of had good intentions to help, but without you asking for help, may have messed things up. The mindset of this person is focused on their ability to fix rather God's ability to make whole. We don't want to be this kind of person for Jesus. We want to help His plans not interfere with them. Sitting at His feet and listening to His written word will help develop us into this kind of person. Just think, His first words to us when we see Him face to face could be, "Good work my good and faithful servant".  You believed in me and  listened to me and did just what I asked you to do. Always, remember His yolk is not hard if you walk with Him. 

 “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” - Matthew 11:28-30


So, with this year set before me I'm laying down my worries and plans. I'm going to spend some time at His feet listening to His plans and allowing Him to love me. I know when I focus on Him, He takes care of everything else. 



2016 will be a year of possibility for the one willing to believe. 



I wanted to share a part of my daily prayer time with you. It really helped me this morning refocus on how He see's me. I hope it helps you:) 

Pray Psalm 91 over yourself and family everyday. Declare it out loud. It tells the unseen things of this world that you are siding with God. The unseen world and it's confusion and weariness has to bow and leave when you declare who’s side your on. There is power in the name of "Jesus".  Allow Him to show you His power as you command all things not of Jesus to go to His feet so He can deal with them, not you.  This doesn’t mean hard things go away, it means God gives you His vision and plan on how to navigate it. Then read the except below and begin to believe it. All you have to do is believe,  God will work on your behalf. Watch for the open doors and the closed ones. Thank Him every day for His blessings. Gratitude will open the door to grace. He gives us grace to accomplish what He calls us to do.

"Thank you Father for hearing my prayers-
 (Insert Your Name), I know the burdens you carry”

"Come to Me and rest. Find peace from the trouble of your day. I know your responsibilities are many, and I know the burdens you carry. So come to Me, and I will be your Hiding Place. My heart will be your Refuge.
"Call Me your Shepherd and I will carry you. Call Me your Friend and I will listen to your heart's cry. Call Me your Redeemer and I will bring restoration to your soul. Absorb My peace. Being busy with many things will bring distraction and discouragement. But when you come to leave your "busyness" with Me I will bring you to My chamber where everything is at peace.
"The expectations of others will drown out My song of grace over your life. Listen in stillness to My lyrics of love and you will soar above the disappointments in your journey. Call Me your Strength and My invisible power will be seen in your life.
"Never be limited by the feeling of weakness. I know the burdens you carry, burdens of past failures and fear of inadequacy as you ponder your future. I am here with you this very moment to be more than a Companion, I will be the Lord of Love and the God of Every Tender Mercy.
"I am drawn to your weakness, for grace is My constant passion-- to show you that My grace is more than enough. Rise from the place of despair and betrayal and come to Me. Call Me your Burden-Bearer and leave them all at My feet. You will rise up with strength and be surrounded with peace. The comfort of My grace is with you, My child."

Psalm 23 The Passion Translation
THE GOOD SHEPHERD
David’s poetic praise to God
¹The Lord is my Shepherd and my Best Friend.
I always have more than enough.
²He offers a resting place for me
In his luxurious love.
His tracks take me to an oasis of peace,
The quiet brook of bliss.
³That’s where he restores and revives my life.
He opens before me pathways to God’s pleasure,
And leads me along in his footsteps of righteousness,
So that I can bring honor to his name.
⁴Lord, even when your path takes me through
The valley of deepest darkness
Fear will never conquer me, for you already have!
You remain close to me and lead me through it all the way.
Your authority is my strength and my peace.
The comfort of your love takes away my fear.
I’ll never be lonely, for you are near.
⁵You become my delicious feast
Even when my enemies dare to fight.
You anoint me with the fragrance of your Holy Spirit;
You give me all I can drink of you until my heart overflows.
⁶So why would I fear the future?
For I’m being pursued only by
Your goodness and unfailing love.
Then afterwards—when my life is through,
I’ll return to your glorious presence
To be forever with you!

I agree with what I have said in Jesus name.. I believe.

Amen

The Prayer above was found in "I hear His whisper"- by Brian Simmons

Wednesday, December 23, 2015

I will trust here in the mystery


"Heroes"
Amanda Cook

This.
This song captures my journey. I awoke today, December 23, 2015, and found a gift. I have been waiting a long time for it.  I knew it was coming, because it was promised to me. 

"Don't worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done.  Then you will experience God's peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus."  
        Philippians 4:6-7

The gift is peace. Not just any peace, but peace that surpasses my understanding. It came slowly over time but has shown up today in a way that I can't explain or understand. This day is a day of remembrance for my family. A day that a very special little boy moved into a new home. One that His Father had been preparing for him since the beginning of time. It was a day we will never forget. One that began very bitter but has been sweetened over time because He has brought healing to our hearts.

As I unwrapped my gift this morning, one thought kept running through my mind. "Wow, how can it be? The sharp pain of grief is gone." I'm still sad, and I never want that feeling to go away. I will always miss Jack. But, the isolating, crippling pain that I once lived with is gone.  I can't really tell you how it happened. There is no formula for this kind of healing. It was given in small amounts along the way. There are many pieces to this puzzle. 

Some of my pieces looked like this: 
Time alone in the wilderness with Jesus.
Attending a grief share group. 
Slowly welcoming and accepting my new community of fellow grievers. 
Realizing my grief is hard for others to watch and it may push them away for a season. 
Counseling is a lifetime investment
Serving others in need
Allowing truth/Jesus to transform the way I think, see, act and believe. 
I'm sure there are more pieces, but those are foundational. 

This morning, as I thought about the peace, I heard Jesus say, "Tell your story, it gives hope to the one's behind you." I know there are many who need hope. They need to know that someday their grief will lift and the pain will not always sting so bad. The one's looking for hope will find it in Jesus, just like I did. 

My story looks like this today. My family is together and we are all under one roof:) That is a miracle in itself! I hear the laughter of two sisters who are happy to be together. That gives me such unexplainable joy. I also hear, I love you's from so many of you who have helped us carry our grief. Thank you for hanging in there with us! Also, our family members are all at different parts of their journey. Some are more sad today than others, and that is OK. We will laugh and we will cry. We will talk about Jack and wonder what he would be like today if he was still here. Just this morning we were arguing over what kind of clothes he would wear. Would he be preppy or sporty? Ha!, We still have not come to a conclusion. Today we will meet each other right where they are on their journey. We will allow the breath of God to renew our hearts and prepare us for another year of walking this out. With each year we learn a new part of the bigger story. And, that makes this journey worth it!

I'm going to end this journal entry now so I can go laugh, and maybe shed a few tears with my peeps. May hope and peace fill your hearts today. Merry Christmas to you all!!

Love the Peck's

                                                    Can't wait to kiss that face again!



The lyrics to the song above are so good. Read them and allow them to transform you.
Let the heroes rest
Let the striving cease
I lay down my crown
Here at Your feet

I will trust
Here in the mystery
I will trust
In You completely

Awake my soul to sing
With Your breath in me
I will worship
You taught my feet
To dance upon disappointment
And I, I will worship

Let the weary rise
Lift their eyes to see
Your love crushing every lie
Every doubt and fear

I will trust
Here in the mystery
I will trust
In You completely

Awake my soul to sing
With Your breath in me
I will worship
You taught my feet
To dance upon disappointment
And I, I will worship

Hallelujah
Hallelujah
You are making all things new

Sunday, December 6, 2015

My Story Of Hope


"Pieces"
Amanda Cook

The song above tells of a man I met on my journey 
who has given me hope to live again. 
He is my God. A God of real tangible hope.

My story. I struggle every time I'm asked to tell my story. Why? I guess because it's hard to sit down and go over the past accounts. So many of them have withdrawals that I never saw coming. The "perfect" account of my story would be one without the debits of loss and grief. Yet, I know all too well today, in this moment, my "perfect" story will only be perfected in Heaven. 

And this, the new belief system that allows me to peacefully make the statement above is what I'm most thankful for today. My heart has been healed in ways I never thought would be possible 10 years ago. This hope that flows through me is a living miracle with in me that I want to share with the world. The seeds of hope were planted in my heart at the moment of deep tragedy. I was standing over my 4-year-old son who had just entered the gates of Heaven. He was in a wonderful place and I was being displaced from everything in my perfect little world. 


My whole life I tried so hard to be good and do the right things. I believed in God, but I lived most of my life believing He was disappointed in me. The mistakes I had made along my journey were ones that kept me at a distance from God. My belief system was, "Keep trying to be perfect, and make things look perfect" and someday HE might allow me back in. That was a lie I was believing and living from most of my life. When my 4 year old son Jack died, December 23,2004, I came face to face with a reality of this world that pushed me to seek another world. I wanted to see Jack again and Jesus offered me a better choice. When the choice was offered it was in the midst of my messy less than perfect life. I had been keeping Jesus at a distance so I could get things right and all He ever wanted was for me to see how much He loved me. 

Life is found in the way we see. At the beginning of my journey all I could see was my mistakes and heartaches. I walked around for a while in a fog of pain desperately hoping for it to lift. After trying to fix things on my own I began to look for help. God answered my prayers with people. He began placing people in my life that helped me see Jesus in a different way. Over time and with their help, I developed my own personal relationship with Jesus. He has healed my broken heart by transforming the way I see and think about Him. The only way you will find true healing is by knowing Him as loving Father. When you know He loves you and He is for you then you can think and see His way. His thoughts begin to heal our hearts to change the way we feel so we can live again with hope. 



 If you are experiencing hopeless in an area of your life, it is because you’re believing a lie. There is hope in every circumstance. Jesus offers us hope in all things. He is the one wild card you keep in your deck that can trump all the hopeless circumstances of this world. If we invite Him in He can make the impossible, possible. He only asks us to call upon Him and invite Him into the impossible circumstances. We are not required to figure things out or clean up our messy lives, that is His job. He is God, and we are human. It's just that simple. He knows our limitations and our humanness. He created us. He wants us to understand our role as humans. We need Him for every step we take to guide us and grow us along the way.


Which brings me back to the "pearl of great price” that I would like to share with you from my story. This truth given to me by Jesus has given me the will to live again. It gave me the freedom to fail and learn from my mistakes. It took away the fear to ask for help. It introduced to me a Father who wanted to help me and rewrite my story to be one of great hope. I don't have to be perfect to be part of His family. He loves me just as I am, right where I'm at along my journey. 


Did you know that one of the biblical meanings for perfect is "to mature". Our worldly definition of perfect sets us up for failure. Perfect celebrates perfection. Perfection demands that we own and master things that God only called us to manage.  The lie we must see is this, masters don’t need help. They should know how to do everything on their own and RIGHT the first time they do it. This kind of belief system built with in me a prideful independent woman who was afraid to ever ask for help. 

Being perfect is not what God expects from us. He called us to discipleship. To follow Him and learn from Him. We are managers of what is given to us by Him. He is the owner and we learn from Him how to be the manager. Managers need instruction and direction and this way of thinking takes away the pressure of ownership. He expects us to see ourselves as He sees us, a human who is frail and weak in his or her own strength and understanding. He wants to be God for us. He wants to show us the way through our circumstances that help us overcome the enemy’s intentions for our harm. He wants us to see that "perfect" to Him is when we choose to turn to Him first. I think it makes Him most proud of you when you’re not afraid to turn to Him in the midst of your less than perfect mess. It's in that very moment that He reaches down from heaven and pulls you close to His heart and loves on you until you have the courage to live again. 


He is love. He loves us and His heart for us is restoration. He wants to restore us not to be the same, but better than we were before we broke. If we have experienced loss, His promise is to restore what has been lost. I am someone who has experienced loss. I am also someone who felt like a prisoner who hoped for a long time to feel better. I can testify today that hope is now a reality. He restored me, not as I was before but so much better than I could have ever imagined or done on my own. I am and always will be a prisoner of hope. The community God gave me has been my stronghold, a place of safety to heal and grow. Within this community I was encouraged to see God's Kingdom and economy in a whole new way. In His Kingdom we learn how to fight the unseen world around us.  We embrace our weakness so Jesus can be the strongest in us and through us. We know that the people who feel like the last in this world will be first in His world. We know that resurrection life is always birthed out of the short-lived death of this world. 

There are many stories in the bible that show us God's heart for restoration. Abraham and Sarah, Joseph, Moses, Joshua & Jesus are just a few to dig into. Remember, God can not tell a lie so lean on His faithfulness until you see your own restoration. Hope is not wishing for good, hope is knowing good is coming. So we plant the seeds of hope given to us by other's testimony. We water them daily with prayer, holding on to faith and love until we can share our own story of resurrection and restoration. 

"Return to your stronghold, O prisoners of hope; 
Today I declare that I will restore to you double."
Zechariah 9:12


So, hold on you prisoner of hope. Return to the safe place of Godly community and wait patiently for the double portion of restoration that your Loving Father in Heaven is preparing for you now:) I promise, it's going to be good:) 

Below is a written piece I contributed to a book entitled 
"The Reason We Speak" - by Marybeth Whalen
It shares more about the beginning of my family’s story and how God was always with us. 

Click on the page below and it will scroll down for you to read. 

Tuesday, December 1, 2015

Hello from the other side


Who do you call in the middle of the struggle?


"Hello"
- Adele

I have been captivated by this song since it came out. There is something about Adele and the way she sings from her heart that touches me. I think it's the pain I hear coming from her broken heart that touches mine. The pain that pierces through this song is haunting.. and the haunting reminded me of a great truth I've learned. And that truth has set me free. 


Jesus therefore said to those Jews that had believed him, If ye abide in my word, then are ye truly my disciples;and ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free. - John 8:31-32 ASV

Ok, I never thought I would use this song to illustrate a truth on my blog. I really thought I would just continue to secretly sing this song karaoke style from the safety and comfort of my companion-less car. What is even more unexpected is that my revelation of such a truth from this song comes today, the first week of Advent. A week that begs us to slow down and remember what was given to us over 2000 years ago. It was gift that shifted the whole universe towards hope. 


Hope is hard to find sometimes if you don't know where to look or "who to call". After loosing Jack, I felt pretty hopeless. I kind of felt like the character that Adele portrays in her song above. In the video it shows a girl who goes back to a place of pain to remember. She wants to reconnect with a person from her past. Someone she loved. Someone she hurt. She calls because she wants to say she's sorry for breaking their heart but the other person never answers the phone. She comes to the conclusion that the other person is no longer being torn apart by the pain she caused. The other person has moved on.. and she is stuck in the past. 


In my situation, Jack had moved on. He moved to a place where I couldn't  see him or talk to him. He moved to a place that gave him the ultimate healing. A place where he could see me from perfect love. A place where he wasn't mad at me or angry for the mistakes I had made with him while he was here those short 4 years. Me, I was left with a death, grief, and a broken heart leaking with regrets.  When someone you love leaves this earth you think of all the times you messed up. What you could have done differently. How you could have been a better person to them. Your broken heart wants to tell them your sorry for all the pain you caused...and also to tell them how very much you loved them.


and here.. in this place we can get stuck.


Why? Is it because we believe that time heals? Time passes and it's what you choose to do with that time that heals.. if it only passes ... you will find that the pain is still as fresh as the day it was given to you. Time without intentional healing with Jesus will only leave you with a bitter heart. 


At the beginning of my journey I met many people who chose to let time pass. 20 years later they were bitter.  I didn't know much about grief and Jesus at the time, but I knew I didn't want to be bitter. I also knew that the worlds solution for my pain didn't have a suitable outcome. I wanted to see Jack again and the only One with the answer I wanted was Jesus. I began to seek Him and He began to place people in my life who helped me grow my relationship with Him. They showed me how to turn to Him first in my pain. The healing is found when you "call upon" the right person. I used to call upon Jack.. I wanted to tell him how sorry I was... The problem with that was Jack didn't see our relationship from my view point any more. He was healed of that, he now has Jesus' sight. He now See's me in a way that holds no judgment. His view point is perfect unconditional love. And over time, Jesus helped me see Jack in a new way which gave my heart the forgiveness it needed to heal. When I think of Jack today, I see him happy and healthy. I see him living an abundant life expectantly waiting for another hug. He is happy.. and that makes me happy. It took a long time for that truth to take root and grow in my heart... but I am a living testimony to that truth and to the healing it gave me by simply believing.


Intentional healing is simply turning to Jesus first.. that's all. Turning to him in your pain allows Him to grow beauty out of your ashes. 


Think of it this way.. In Gods economy the last shall be first and life always comes after death. The power that lives within you has the power to raise the dead parts of your heart back to life. Just like Jesus did right before our eyes. When we witness death it will always hurt, but Jesus gave us a gift that now gives us hope. Call out to Him when you find yourself going back to the wounds of the past. When we seek healing and payment from anyone other than Jesus we stay wounded and broke. Jesus is the only one who can ever give you the words you need to hear that will fully heal your broken heart. 


Try giving Him a call the next time you find yourself going back to the painful memories of the past.. I promise He will be there to answer the phone..
and the "hello" from the other side will give the hope needed to live again




"This resurrection life you received from God is not a timid, grave-tending life. It’s adventurously expectant, greeting God with a childlike “What’s next, Papa?” God’s Spirit touches our spirits and confirms who we really are. We know who he is, and we know who we are: Father and children. And we know we are going to get what’s coming to us—an unbelievable inheritance! We go through exactly what Christ goes through. If we go through the hard times with him, then we’re certainly going to go through the good times with him!" 

- Romans 8:15-17



Let's expect to be transformed by hope this Christmas Season! If your experiencing a hard time now, know that the good times are coming!