Mindblowing! Gods ways are never our ways.







This is one of my favorite commercials! I love the thought of keeping a journal recording all the times your mind has been blown. 1. "Being born" 2. "My first hat!"... I laugh every time I watch this!

Yesterday I had one of those mind blowing moments where I could have pulled out my mind blown journal to record what I saw God do. I have been studying the story of Joseph for at least 2 years on and off. I have read the story many times and thought I had seen everything there was to see. And then, God blew my mind! He revealed to me His heart. It is so true.. His ways are NOT our ways!

Let me share with you what He shared with me ..

We all know the general story of Joseph. He is the favored son of Jacobs and has several brothers who do not like him. You really can't blame the brothers, they were reminded of their standing with their father every time Joseph entered the room with his special multicolored coat. Where the story get messy is when Joseph shares his God dreams with his family. He tells them that they will someday bow down to him. This revelation was the straw that broke the camels back. They plotted to kill him but ended selling him and sending him off to a life of slavery in Egypt never to be seen again by his father.

As I was reading this, I thought.. the brothers sinned because they didn't have their eyes on God. They were hurt because of the favoritism they saw their Dad give Joseph and took matters into their own hands instead of taking it to God. I believe if they fixed their eyes on God with their pain and allowed Him to heal them He would had given them all their own dreams. However, we do get to see how not fixing our eyes on Jesus will make the messy middle, messier.

Hold tight we are not to the mind blowing part of the story yet...

Fast forward 20 years.. Joseph has endured 13 years of slavery and prison. He had suffered greatly and grieved the loss of his family. I am sure his heart was broken because he knew he would never see his father or homeland again. However, He shows us how to suffer well through out his story. In every discouraging situation he found himself in, he accepted and turned and trusted God. After 13 years of suffering, he is brought out of prison and delivered into a high position of power.. all because people recognized that he carried the glory of God. God gave Joseph a plan that would keep a nation from famine. For 7 years He stored up grain.. God was preparing Joseph to help those who could not help themselves.

When the famine came, Josephs brothers showed up for help. When they first met, his brothers do not recognize him. They assumed he was dead after all those years. However, Joseph knew immediately who they were. I can only imagine the hurt that began to well up in his heart.

Here is the mind blowing part

I asked myself, how did Joseph keep himself from hating.. judging .. and then killing them?

If this were me.. I would have acted out of what I saw in my circumstances and passed judgment to have them killed. I would not of fixed my eyes on Jesus.. because I am sure Jesus would of agreed with me. They deserved death after all they had done.. or did they?

Because Joseph turned and trusted God with his pain he didn't make the messy middle, messier.

God revealed to Joseph that what his brothers intended for evil He used for good. God used the evil of slavery and prison to fashion a leader and savior for his family and a nation.

Instead of a death sentence, Josephs family received provision and protection?!... GOD DID NOT CONDEMN THEM FOR THE PAIN THEY CAUSED THEIR BROTHER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Mind blowing!

Just think, if Joseph would of judged and sentenced his brothers on his own he would of messed up Gods plans for redemption and restoration.

Again.. I am reminded to fix my eyes on Jesus always.. His ways are never my ways..

Mind blowing part.. because of this revelation ..my understanding of His heart for me is taken to a much deeper level. I often judge myself and others before I go to Jesus, which keeps me from seeing His heart in the matter.. keeps me from His love. I am now more inclined to go to Him and trust because He wants relationship and restoration... not death.

Thank you, Jesus! You have won me again!



I found HOPE in the Messy Middle

I love the lyrics in the song above. My favorite line is "I'm sorry for running in circles, for placing my focus on the waves and not Your face."

I can so identify! Many times I have found myself exhausted from running in circles because my  focus was on the waves and not on Jesus' face. In the midst of messy circumstances we tend to want to focus on the circumstance and fix it ourselves. But, Jesus said turn and fix your eyes on me in the middle of you messy circumstance. His promise is to guide us through it and reward us with a new inner strength we didn't have before.

The messy middle.. it's where we all get tripped up.  Sometimes we just don't know what to do. It just feels awkward to turn to Jesus first, especially in the beginning of our journey. We are taught to be independent and self reliant, the "we can do it" kind of girls!





But the bible tells us something totally different.

I have been working on a speaking project with two of my good friends, Barb Cash and Lisa Dittman. Our topic is how to get through the "Messy Middle" of life's struggles. We have all had our fair share of them. The details of the struggles are all different but they all have two things in common. The temptation to focus on the circumstance and fix or trusting and turning it over to Jesus.

 This theme also seems to be through out the bible.

 I awoke this morning and heard a small whisper that said, "God had a messy middle". As I began to research this thought I found that indeed it was true.

God had to sacrifice His own Son for our sins. Jesus had to die on a cross, while His Father watched. This was the only way to rescue His people from the oppression of hell. That's a pretty messy middle! 

I think it is amazing that the Jesus never asks us to do what He was not willing to do Himself. As I read the story, I noticed that when the Messy Middle was approaching Jesus went to pray. He turned His focus to His Father. The disciple's turned their focus to the circumstances.
Jesus wept, and accepted that the cup was not going to be taken away. He was filled with a strength to get up and accept His Fathers Will. He bared the cross and carried it with the help of a friend. His cross was place inbetween two crimals .. one who focused on circumstances and died and one who focused on Jesus and went to paradise. Jesus  struggled during the sacrifice and cried out, "Father, why have You forsaken me?" Then He trusted and turned and gave us all the gift of grace we could never earn.

The results were much different for the ones who focused on their circumstances. The disciples grew weary and slept, they rebuked and argued, cut off ears and denied that they ever knew Him. One even took his own life.  Their focus on their  circumstances caused them to loose heart, belief and faith.. it caused them to sin.. make mistakes.

This is why Jesus wants us to focus on Him and not our circumstances. When we focus on our circumstance's we can make the Messy Middle even messier.

If you think about it the bible is full of Messy Middle's. Here's just a few examples of people who made the middle messier.

Abraham and Sarah- Promised to be parents of many nations and during the Messy Middle Shara tried to fix it and it created a big mess. Yet, the Lord still followed through on His promise. Sarah messed up and was still chosen to be the Mother many nations.

Joseph and his brothers- Joseph shared a dream that made his brothers jealous. Instead of focusing on God to get their own dreams the brothers focused on their circumstances and sinned.. sold their brother to slavery. Joseph kept his focus on God for 13 years while enslaved and in prison. God kept His promise to Joseph while he struggled and delivered him to save many people.. even his brothers who tried to kill him.

Job- kept his focus on God while he endured many heartbreaking circumstances. He lost everything and did nothing to deserve it. He was tempted by his friends to blame himself and fix it. He trusted and turned and God explained and gave back twice as much as he lost.

I could go on.. what I want to point out is HOPE.. there's always hope in the Messy Middle. They struggled through the messy middles and still were called Hero's of faith! That is hope we can all hold on to. We need to understand, we all get lost in the Messy Middle. We also need to learn to turn to Jesus, the One who never get lost in the Messy Middle:)



The Father's heart for us!

We could never do anything to earn what He did for us on the cross. And what He does for us each and every moment while He sits in Heaven and in our Hearts:)

He chose to do so simply because It was His will to give us life and for us to live it abundantly! 

 

He died for us

He chose us

He loves us

He likes us

He knew us

He knows us

He wanted us 

He justifies us

He appoints us

He called us

He works all things together for our good:)

Christ arrives right on time to make this happen. He didn't, and doesn't, wait for us to get ready.

Thought of the day; Fasting hopelessness

 He presented himself for this sacrificial death when we were far too weak and rebellious to do anything to get ourselves ready. And even if we hadn't been so weak, we wouldn't have known what to do anyway. We can understand someone dying for a person worth dying for, and we can understand how someone good and noble could inspire us to selfless sacrifice. But God put his love on the line for us by offering his Son in sacrificial death while we were of no use whatever to him. (Romans 5:6-8 MSG)

Thought of the day: Fasting hopelessness 

I love the lyrics to this song"I knew what I was getting into when I called you"

"Just don't give up and don't give in.. If you don't quit, you win"

We all need to know He loves us not for anything we do or don't do.. He just does:)

Romans 5:8
The Message (MSG)
6-8 Christ arrives right on time to make this happen. He didn't, and doesn't, wait for us to get ready. He presented himself for this sacrificial death when we were far too weak and rebellious to do anything to get ourselves ready. And even if we hadn't been so weak, we wouldn't have known what to do anyway. We can understand someone dying for a person worth dying for, and we can understand how someone good and noble could inspire us to selfless sacrifice. But God put his love on the line for us by offering his Son in sacrificial death while we were of no use whatever to him.

Thought of the day: fasting hopelessness 

"Willing victim" such a true statement .. We must not be willing to be a victim. We must choose to be a victor! 

I choose to be a victor today not a willing victim:) 

It's our choice ..the little decisions of victor leads to a life full of freedom and abundant life!

My hope is found in Jesus, NOT Dr. Phil

Thought of the day; Fasting Hopelessness

My hope is found in Jesus, NOT in Dr. Phil

I am once again reminded that my hope is found in Jesus and not in anything of this world. 

I must admit, back in December when the Dr. Phil show called to invite my daughter Maddie on their show, that we had finally  found hope.

 Hope for medical care to help our daughter finally process her past trauma and grief. 

This week we were told that her treatment plan had ended. They feel like they have done all they can do to help her. Her treatment plan was learning how to breathe correctly to manage her anxiety. I was happy with this plan in the beginning because we thought this was necessary for her to learn to manage her anxiety and get to the next step. She was in desperate need of counseling that would help get to the root of the problem. Her trauma needed to be healed not managed for the rest of her life.

 I am very disappointed in how they cared for Maddie and her pain with such disregard. Looking back I see that they only wanted to show what unprocessed grief could look like if not dealt with and healed. They had no intentions of rolling up their sleeves to help her get to the root of the problem.

Which brings me to this... In the world of mental health, most doctors teach patients to deal with the symptoms. What I have learned with the "Great Physician, Jesus", is that He wants to get to the root of the problem. Dealing with the symptoms keep us in bondage. We must go back to the pain with Jesus and sometimes a trusted counselor to allow Him to give us healing and a different prospective. When we do this He gives us a perspective to live with the circumstances we can not change. 

With all this being said, I do believe that nothing is wasted with God. I believe He allowed the past events to occur that will produce good if I place it in His hands. I am reminded again that my hope is not found in this world. I confess that I was shifting my focus and placing my hope in Dr. Phil more than Jesus these past months. Lesson learned... Lord, forgive me for placing my hope in anything but you. I repent and ask that you forgive me. Now, Lord show me your hope for the daughter you love way more than I ever could this side of heaven. 

Help me refocus on you.. our only hope, our only deliverer, our great restorer. 

Our journey continues. I must settle on the fact that He did not want to restore her through the Dr. Phil show.  I am reminded of what He told me at the beginning of this journey. He said,

"The LORD himself will fight for you. Just stay calm."- Exodus 14:14

So, until I see her living in freedom I know He's still working it all out! 

The journey Continues.. and I know it's going somewhere good if He's in control. 

My Hope as a mother

Thought of the day: Fasting Hopelessness

My hope as a mother

I don't have to be perfect

just simply surrendered


I remember the first time I simply surrendered to Christ. 
It was moments after my sweet Jack went home to be with Jesus.
I was not aware at that time what was actually taking place in my heart. 
Looking back today, I see so clearly. 
Moments after we were told that Jack did not survive I began to pray.
My prayer was, Lord I am tired of wondering where I will go when I die. I want to settle this issue with you once and for all. Lord, I am not sure how this works.
 I just want to know from now on that I am yours
and
I am returning to my home in heaven because I want desperately to see my son again. 

 I was confessing that I was tired of trying to be perfect.
and admitted I needed a savior.

You see what brought about that prayer was the thought I had in church every Sunday before this very moment.
 The thought was, I wonder if Jesus remembers me?
I had been baptized at the age of 10 but thought the life I lived from that point on was a huge disappointment to God.
I had made many mistakes in my life and felt like God didn't really like me or even notice me.
 I just couldn't measure up.
My only hope was to remind Him each Sunday that I had been baptized as a child so my name should be on the guest list when I reach the pearly gates..right????
I was never settled with my salvation because I somehow thought I had to earn it by being perfect.
Truth is we will never be perfect. That is why we need a savior. 
I asked the Lord the other day to show me where He was that night Jack went home to heaven. He showed me a picture of Him with His arms around me holding me. He said, Julie I love you and have always loved you.. It's time you settle that once and for all. You cant earn my love. I love you simply because you are mine.. not because of what you do or what you have done. You have never disappointed me because I am never disappointed. I stand outside of time and know every detail about your life even the ones that disappoint you. Simply surrender to me and I will be the perfecter of your less than perfect life.
My hope is 
Christ in me.
I have learned that the most perfect me is me radically pursuing Jesus.. 
and it looks like this
A mother who stopped trying to be perfect 
and 
just simply surrendered to the only one who is perfect... 
Jesus

Jesus, help us surrender ..

Bring back your wonder
Bring back your song
I got it all wrong
I've pushed you down deep in my soul to long