May God himself, the God who makes everything holy and whole, make you holy and whole, put you together—spirit, soul, and body—and keep you fit for the coming of our Master, Jesus Christ.
1 Thessalonians 5:23 (The Message)
Monday, August 10, 2026
What the Creek Taught Me About Trust
After writing about what the creek taught me last week, one thing continued to linger in my heart.
Trust.
I realized my pursuit of understanding had quietly become bigger than my trust in God.
There’s nothing wrong with wanting to understand. God tells us to seek wisdom. But somewhere along the way, I started believing understanding would bring me peace.
Yesterday, I stood beside another creek.
This one had a waterfall.
The water rushed over rocks that had been smoothed by years of flowing water. What once created resistance had become the very thing that allowed the water to move more freely.
I couldn’t help but think…
That’s what trust looks like.
The water wasn’t questioning where it was going. It wasn’t resisting the rocks. It simply kept moving, trusting the path before it.
And I realized that’s where I’ve been getting stuck.
Understanding can quietly become a way of holding on to control. I keep thinking if I can just make sense of everything, then I’ll finally be at peace.
But trust asks something completely different.
It whispers, “Keep moving. I’ll show you what you need when you need it.”
Maybe God isn’t trying to answer every question I’ve asked.
Maybe He’s smoothing the rough places in me, just like the water smooths the rocks, so there’s less resistance when He asks me to follow Him.
I’m still going to seek understanding. God tells us to seek wisdom. But I’m learning something I don’t want to forget.
Understanding seeks answers. Trust surrenders to the One who already has them.
Maybe that’s where peace has been all along.
Not in understanding everything…
But in trusting the One who already does.
What the creek taught me...
This weekend, I found myself sitting beside this little creek at the cabin.
There wasn’t anything spectacular about it. No rushing waterfall. No grand mountain view.
Just the quiet sound of water finding its way around the rocks.
As I sat there, I couldn’t help but think about all the conversations surrounding Dr. Fauci this week.
Everyone seems to be asking the same questions.
Who was right? Who was wrong? Who knew what? Who should be held accountable?
Those are important conversations, and I understand why people are having them.
For me, it’s personal.
I believe my health changed after receiving the COVID vaccine. I’ve spent years searching for answers, spending money on treatments, grieving the life I once had, and wondering if I’ll ever feel like “me” again.
Others have their own stories.
Some lost parents. Some lost children. Some lost businesses they spent a lifetime building. Some lost friendships. Some lost trust.
Heartbreak wears a lot of different faces.
As I sat by this creek, I realized something.
The water never argued with the rocks.
It didn’t waste its energy wishing they weren’t there.
It simply kept moving.
That doesn’t mean the rocks didn’t matter.
They changed the course of the water.
But they didn’t stop it.
And I wondered…
How much of my life have I spent staring at the rocks?
Replaying conversations. Wanting answers. Wishing someone would admit they were wrong. Hoping I could somehow get my old life back.
The truth is… even if every question were answered tomorrow, it wouldn’t change what has already happened.
It wouldn’t restore my health. It wouldn’t erase the pain. It wouldn’t give any of us our old lives back.
So maybe the better question isn’t…
“Who’s right?”
Maybe it’s…
“How do we move forward?”
I’ve realized that’s where God has been meeting me.
Not in all the answers.
But in the quiet places.
The places where He gently reminds me that peace isn’t found in finally understanding everything.
Peace is found in trusting Him enough to keep moving forward, even when I don’t.
I’m still healing.
I still have questions.
But I don’t want to spend the next ten years reliving the last five.
I want to become someone who has more compassion because I’ve suffered.
Someone who listens more carefully because I know what it feels like not to be heard.
Someone whose faith has grown deeper because it has been tested.
This little creek reminded me that life keeps moving.
Not because everything is okay.
But because God is still leading us forward.
Maybe today you’re carrying your own heartbreak.
Maybe your rocks look different than mine.
Whatever they are…
I pray you find your own quiet place.
A place where the noise fades away long enough to hear God’s gentle whisper reminding you…
This song captured my attention this past week as I faced the familiar feelings of betrayal. One of my habitual boundary crossers accused me of another lie that keeps their life in constant turmoil. It was wrapped in its usual packaging of blame fabricated by a false reality. I asked, why would you say this about me? The answer, well I didn't know at the time it wasn't you. No apology, no attempt to correct the mistake just another conversation redirected to remind me of what a bad person I am and how I've never been any help.
I found myself being sucked back into the swirling tornado of trying to reason with a lie.
It begins with hey, this is not entirely true. I remember other events that led to this outcome. Your heart wants to make sense and reveal the truth so you can move through this conflict. The boundary crosser wants no part of this process because looking at the truth at this point is too hard. Living in their false reality is safe and has become the truth from which they live.
I've learned something through this-
Boundary crossers use their false view of love to manipulate you to give yourself sacrificially until there's nothing left to give. Then they get mad when there is nothing left to give. It's maddening!
This reminds me of a class I took on boundaries. Our textbook for this class was "The Giving Tree," by Shel Silverman. The room was occupied by ten women whom I consider to be the most giving and caring people I have ever met. They have been a part of my life for over a decade and the bond we share is loss. The story of loss is different for each woman, but the common thread we share is the deep desire to live a life full of abundant joy. I have deep admiration for each woman in this group. They are fighters and over-comers because they have rejected the temptation to wave their white flag and surrender to the ease of living as a victim to their circumstances.
As we began our journey reading through the giving tree, I was shocked at how this children's book revealed a very unhealthy relationship. The plot is this: a tree loves a boy over the course of his lifespan and, to satisfy his desires, she gives him everything she has—her apples, her leaves, her limbs—until she has reduced herself to a stump. I remember thinking, I don't want to be a stump! I want to be a tree that see's the danger of enablement and the value of growing into a big beautiful oak tree.
So, do I continue to give?
or
Face the hard choice to grow?
Growing requires one to examine the reality of where we are, how we got here, and where we want to grow to. So when my boundary crosser gave me this ultimatum- "I want you back in my life, but I want to forget the past"- I knew the request was asking me to give and not grow. The reality of that statement is the boundary crosser never wants to look at their part of the past, but they will remind you of how your part of the past has led to all the failures in their life. They refuse to heal the bleeding wounds of the past. And I refuse to continue getting bloody and bruised by them any longer.
Do you see the hypocrisy? Good because your boundary crosser never will.
This incident revealed a few wounds of my own and some suppressed anger and unforgiveness. I hate the lies and the one-sided narrative being told. I am reminded of how crazy it makes me to try and reason with lies. I found myself questioning if my prayers were being heard. It feels unfair and like I don't have a voice to defend myself against the accusations. I know I can't control others actions and thoughts, but I can control mine. And I knew deep down I have some work to do.
When I layed my head down on my pillow the other night, I made myself listen to this song. I was restless and wanted to forget. As I listen to the lyrics I was reminded of the title of my blog and why I started writing many years ago. I felt hollow, and I wanted to be made whole. I then heard a still small voice say- Julie, I see the anger in your heart. I understand the hurt, and I see your deep desire for healing and reconciliation. Then I saw Jesus and I standing shoulder to shoulder standing behind a line drawn in the sand. He said - This line is your resolve for reconciliation. It may never happen
because it takes both parties to reconcile. Julie, I promise to stand with you toe to toe and fight with you. But there is one request I ask of you because it is your responsibility in this process. Forgiveness is something you can control - reconciliation is something you can't control. So if you want to continue on your journey from hollow to whole - you must forgive.
So, here I go.. Another reason to grow...
To be continued
VERSE 1: Hold me now
In the hands that created the heavens
Find me now
Where the grace runs as deep as Your scars
You pulled me from the clay
Set me on a rock
Called me by Your Name And made my heart whole
VERSE 2: Lifted up
And my knees know it’s all for Your glory
That I might stand With more reasons to sing than to fear
It is often my prayer in the morning because it reminds me of my path to and with Jesus. The words are humble and remind me of who I was when I met Him. The words deliver a powerful message to those who feel like they have climbed their ladder of life so high on their own to ever meet Jesus. For some of us, He meets us when we least expect it and don't feel like we deserve it. Climbing on our own always leads to a fall and it's not such a bad thing if you know His love sweeps low.
Honestly, falling this side of Heaven comes with a feeling of condemnation, guilt, and shame. No-one likes to fall or feel like a failure, but it's part of life. It reminds me of the false narrative we are teaching our kids before they leave our homes to go off to college. We say to them, a 4.0 GPA is just average, you can't afford to make a "B," you must study, memorize and regurgitate, and DON'T even think of failing because it's final and there is no value in it. Today, I see so many young adults afraid to take a risk and do something that might be out of their comfort zone. If they don't know how to do it 100% before they start they don't do it at all.
Fear has a funny way of whispering, "No, just stay comfortable & play it safe. You don't ever want to look like you don't know what you're doing." Living from fear slowly teaches us to build a neat and tidy box to live in so we can control our environment. We know how to do the things in our box, so we never feel the sting of failure.
I can say this because I lived it for many years. I thought I was a risk-taker and lived life to fullest, but when my neat little box blew up I learned something - Within the boundaries of the box, I felt alone and was climbing the ladder of my life in my own strength. I was tired and unchallenged and felt like I didn't need God because He didn't need or want me. As I look back, I can see the reason I thought this way about God was because I thought my GPA with him might have been a 1.0 at best.
Do you see how our false view of failure hands us the blueprints to build the prison box of comfort and safety? God sees failure way different than we see it. He sees opportunity and possibility in failure. It opens up the perspective that we don't know it all or need to know it all, and we are not alone, don't need to do it alone and understand that we can't do it alone.
All that being said, I was reminded this week as I was giving the invocation for our local government chamber meeting, that Jesus will ask the one who feels least worthy to represent Him. The fear of failure tempted me to ask, why me? There are so many others to pick from who represent you better.
I quickly saw the lines being drawn for the boxed living and remembered - there is no fear in failure and Jesus always picks people who are willing to share the story of redemption rather than one of perfection.
He wants us to know he loves us and it's ok to fall because when our knees hit the ground, His love sweeps low. We must remember, He traded Heaven to have us again.
TOUCH THE SKY - HILLSONG UNITED
What fortune lies beyond the stars Those dazzling heights too vast to climb I got so high to fall so far But I found heaven as love swept low
My heart beating, my soul breathing I found my life when I laid it down Upward falling, spirit soaring I touch the sky when my knees hit the ground
What treasure waits within Your scars The gift of freedom gold can't buy I bought the world and sold my heart You traded heaven to have me again
My heart beating, my soul breathing I found my life when I laid it down Upward falling, spirit soaring I touch the sky when my knees hit the ground
Find me here at Your feet again Everything I am, reaching out, I surrender Come sweep me up in Your love again And my soul will dance On the wings of forever
Find me here at Your feet again Everything I am, reaching out, I surrender Come sweep me up in Your love again And my soul will dance On the wings of forever
My heart beating, my soul breathing I found my life when I laid it down Upward falling, spirit soaring I touch the sky when my knees hit the ground
My heart beating, my soul breathing I found my life when I laid it down Upward falling, spirit soaring I touch the sky when my knees hit the ground
Find me here at Your feet again Everything I am, reaching out I surrender Come sweep me up in Your love again And my soul will dance On the wings of forever
Upward falling, spirit soaring I touch the sky When my knees hit the ground
"My Father, if it is possible, may this cup be taken from me. Yet not as I will, but as you will."
Matthew 26:39
When the cup doesn't pass- then we are left to face the problems
it holds.
A few weeks ago I felt like
to Lord gave me a word as I was getting ready for the day. The word was simple,
yet it was a word that I felt like could be the title of a book written about
my life. It is also a word that the Lord is teaching me to use every day as I
look down at the cup that is still in my hands.
The word and the picture
below keep me focused on who shows up when the cup doesn't pass. He gently puts
His forehead upon mine and whispers, Julie - You must go "through"
with me. I'm here with you, and I care deeply about the cup you hold.
I am the one offering it
and the only way is through.
This word was given to many
others who were called to walk "through" when their cup didn't pass.
Adam and Eve wanted to hide, but God met them, clothed them and showed them
another way. Sahra tried to go her own way and still, God walked her through to
make good on His promise. Abraham walked through as his heart broke into a
million pieces to find that God would provide another way, a ram. One of Moses
cups was to walk through as the red sea parted before him. Joseph held his cup
for 2 more years as disappointment begged him to put it down. His focus walked
him through to a position that would save many. And then Jesus shows us a clear
picture of the cup and how to move through when it doesn't pass.
"My Father, if it is possible, may this cup be taken from me.
Yet not as I will, but as you will."
Matthew 26:39
The commentary of this
verse says that when Jesus prayed for the cup to be taken the spirit checked
him and His prayer moved to yet, your will not mine.
I thought to myself, how
many times do I pray for the cup to pass and wait .. I don't move on to the
yet, your will not mine. The cup stays, and I wait... it's a place where I get
stuck. I'm waiting, and God is saying drink it because the only way is through.
The cup holds a bitter problem and I don't want to surrender and drink.
We see an impossible problem and God sees how His presence makes
all things possible.
God works "through" us-
"Christ in you, the hope of glory"- Colossians 1:27
Through- moving to one side
and out the other side. An opening, channel or location. Stepping boldly
through the doorway. It is a word that indicated movement into one side or point
and out another, especially the opposite side. From one boundary to another
without stopping.
Christ in you desires to lead you through.
Surrendering to the cup
requires a reckoning with the disappointment of not getting our way.
We must balance the books
with this truth-
Every problem has the
potential to teach us something. Its purpose is to transform us to take the
next step towards freedom and destiny.
Every problem can be a
stumbling block that will cause you to fall if you react with distrust or
defiance.
The cup offers you a choice-
Will you trust and focus on
my presence to lead you through the problem? Or will you distrust by focusing
on the problem willed not to move until it passes?
The truth will open your
mind to the possibilities and benefits of drinking the cup.
When you drink from the
cup, it allows Christ in you, to work all things together for our good.
Our Father indirectly works
for our resurrection by allowing us to drink from the cup, feel the weight of
the cup so that we might understand the purpose of the cup is always for our
good.
The cup presents itself only because there is a solution.
I love the lyrics to the
song above, "There was another in the fire". It is such a good
reminder that we never drink the cup alone. He is always with us showing us the
way through.
I have been wrestling with this request for the past year. The trust He is asking me for is not tied to death or significant loss: This time it’s about His goodness and if I will dare to believe that He will be good to me. I’ve trusted Jesus in the past with many circumstances, and His faithfulness eventually revealed itself. Healing deep wounds from my past is the evidence of His loving kindness revealed to me in the cleft rock moments of my life. He loves me, and I know that with all my heart. So, why is it so hard to trust Him to meet me on the mountaintop?
Webster defines trust as a firm belief in the reliability, truth, ability, or strength of someone.
So trust is a result. It is a firm belief that someone is reliable, trustworthy, able and strong. Trust takes time and is built in the small and messy moments of life. It requires us to risk being vulnerable with someone—to see if they will handle our heart with care. In the past, being vulnerable usually, lead me to heartache. We’ve all experienced someone taking advantage of our weakness. They let us down, selfishly stole from us, left us alone to clean up the mess. We blamed ourselves for being vulnerable, and shame waged war against our true identity and worthiness to be loved. Judgments were made from lies, and walls were built to protect and trust.
I started thinking about choice. I believe it is the most loving gift given to us by God. He gave us the ability to choose, and from the beginning of time, we have broken His heart with our choices. He knew we would choose wrong but still gave us the gift of choice. His love is unconditional and void of the need to control us: He is being vulnerable with us in this choice and wanting us to do the same.
I have come to learn that with God vulnerability is not about the circumstance; it’s about who we trust to be with us in the circumstance.
“Unwavering trust is a rare and precious thing because it often demands a degree of courage that borders on the heroic. When the shadow of Jesus’ cross falls across our lives in the form of failure, rejection, abandonment, betrayal, unemployment, loneliness, depression, the loss of a loved one; when we are deaf to everything but the shriek of our own pain; when the world around us suddenly seems a hostile, menacing place—at those times we may cry out in anguish, ‘How could a loving God permit this to happen?’ At such moments the seeds of distrust are sown. It requires heroic courage to trust in the love of God no matter what happens to us.” (Brennan Manning)
It takes heroic courage to trust after the world has betrayed us in our weakness, but we have a need to trust in the character and reliability of someone who will walk us through the uncertainties of life. God’s goal is to awaken us to our true identity. We are worthy and loved by Him, and when we stand in His love, anything is possible. Our vulnerable places slowly become places to learn and experience joy and love like never before. They are places in which we make the choice to turn to Him and say—I will trust you. Trust is a choice, and it’s a gift we give back to Him.
This past year has been full of circumstances in which I had to figure things out, and the only way to do so was to be vulnerable. I had to admit to co-workers, family, and friends that I did not know how to fix certain problems, but that we would find our way through. Within that very statement was a whole new perspective. Problems are unavoidable, and we don’t have all the answers, but the choice to walk through the problem trusting God, is always mine to choose.
I’m learning my focus should not be on the outcome, but instead on whom I’m trusting in the process. The outcome may be bad, but if I’m trusting God with my heart, He will always handle it with care. Maybe I needed to see the bad because He has something good coming. I am learning that when circumstances don’t go my way, vulnerability is what I need. It is fertile ground to plant new seeds of hope. It is a place to experience joy and love like never before. I admit to Jesus I am weak in this unplanned moment that I so desperately want to control, and He gives me the courage to accept a new perspective.
One last quote from Brennan Manning that brings to life the daughter who knows how to trust Jesus:
“After stumbling and falling, the ragamuffin does not sink into despondency and endless self-recrimination, she quickly repents, offers the broken moment to the Lord, and renews her trust in the Messiah of sinners. She knows that Jesus is comfortable with broken people who remember how to love.”
Below is one of my favorite definitions of love found in 1 Corinthians 13. It is a picture of how God loves us. We can trust such a love as this.
His promise to us is love, and all He requires us to do is show up.
I have heard these words whispered in my heart many times this season while facing many new problems. Typically, they are my queue to back out of a situation, but I hear God say to me - face it because all things are possible with Me.
I don’t like problems and try to avoid them at all cost.I know this is not a proper mindset because every day has an abundance of problems. I’m learning that I see something as a problem because I don’t immediately have the answer. It requires me to reach out and ask for help.
And, why is this a problem?
My life has dramatically changed over the past 12 months. A new job, a new home, a new city, a new group of people and many new friends have entered my life. It has been a challenge to have such a dramatic change, and yet this is what I’ve prayed for, all things new. I feel like I’ve been slowly crawling in this direction after the loss of many things dear to my heart. I’ve prayed for resurrection in my own life and for those who are close to me.
The problem I found in this prayer is resurrection can only come if you believe it’s possible. I believe in Jesus, and I love the ending of His story. He came to earth and faced our biggest problem and dealt with it by showing us resurrection was possible. He demonstrated that death is part of new life and problems always hold promise if you are willing to change the way you think.
“Don't copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God's will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect.” Romans12:2 NLT
My crawl to this new place required a new plan that would need a whole new way of thinking.I love making plans, especially when I see them written out neatly on my calendar.They help me get to my desired destination without any delays. What I fail to do is leave room for the unexpected and unplanned moments life always adds to my plan. I affectingly call these moments, problems.
“We can make our plans, but the LORD determines our steps.” Proverbs 16:9 NLV
Plans and steps, never really thought about the relationship between the two. Webster’s Dictionary defines them as:
Plans: a drawing or diagram drawn: a method for achieving an end.
Steps: a rest for the foot in ascending or descending
Plans hold our desired outcome and steps are places for our foot to rest while ascending or descending. Now, I see why I’m always frustrated. I don’t plan for the ups and downs. The path I planned was level and smooth through beautiful green summer pastures. I never saw the need for a mountain.
“Why be uncomfortable?” – It’s a phrase I like to say to my niece when I tell her about my latest greatest new membership or mail delivery subscription box. Shipt, Stitch Fit, FabFitFun, Blue Apron, Green Chef and Amazon make life comfortable. If you stop and think about it, each of these comforts was born out of someone’s discomfort. They recognized a need and provided a solution. They saw a problem and pressed in to find the hidden promise.
Which leads me to the lesson I’m learning. When I pray for resurrection, God’s gives me His promise of it. It does not instantly happen because it requires me to participate. I must learn a new way of thinking about problems and life.
Jesus looked at them intently and said, "Humanly speaking, it is impossible. But with God everything is possible." Matthew 19:26 NLV
So my old way of doing new must go. It’s not up to me; it’s up to WE.
The promise He has given me anchors me to His plan and His will for my life.
“For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:11 NIV
His promise lovingly asks me to partner with Him, so I become the evidence of His promise here on earth.
For many years death and loss have been a big part of my plan. I’ve learned to account for them. I’ve been uncomfortable. So, maybe God is saying, Why be uncomfortable? You see evidence of your prayers – my plans are to prosper you, not to harm you. They are to give you new hope and a new future.
The Promise in my problem reveals God’s pure and sincere heart for me. His love offers resurrection, but it requires me to partner with Him. My responsibility is to believe it is not good to be alone. Simply put- Without Him, it is impossible to do all things new, but WITH Him all new things are possible.
