I found HOPE in the Messy Middle

I love the lyrics in the song above. My favorite line is "I'm sorry for running in circles, for placing my focus on the waves and not Your face."

I can so identify! Many times I have found myself exhausted from running in circles because my  focus was on the waves and not on Jesus' face. In the midst of messy circumstances we tend to want to focus on the circumstance and fix it ourselves. But, Jesus said turn and fix your eyes on me in the middle of you messy circumstance. His promise is to guide us through it and reward us with a new inner strength we didn't have before.

The messy middle.. it's where we all get tripped up.  Sometimes we just don't know what to do. It just feels awkward to turn to Jesus first, especially in the beginning of our journey. We are taught to be independent and self reliant, the "we can do it" kind of girls!





But the bible tells us something totally different.

I have been working on a speaking project with two of my good friends, Barb Cash and Lisa Dittman. Our topic is how to get through the "Messy Middle" of life's struggles. We have all had our fair share of them. The details of the struggles are all different but they all have two things in common. The temptation to focus on the circumstance and fix or trusting and turning it over to Jesus.

 This theme also seems to be through out the bible.

 I awoke this morning and heard a small whisper that said, "God had a messy middle". As I began to research this thought I found that indeed it was true.

God had to sacrifice His own Son for our sins. Jesus had to die on a cross, while His Father watched. This was the only way to rescue His people from the oppression of hell. That's a pretty messy middle! 

I think it is amazing that the Jesus never asks us to do what He was not willing to do Himself. As I read the story, I noticed that when the Messy Middle was approaching Jesus went to pray. He turned His focus to His Father. The disciple's turned their focus to the circumstances.
Jesus wept, and accepted that the cup was not going to be taken away. He was filled with a strength to get up and accept His Fathers Will. He bared the cross and carried it with the help of a friend. His cross was place inbetween two crimals .. one who focused on circumstances and died and one who focused on Jesus and went to paradise. Jesus  struggled during the sacrifice and cried out, "Father, why have You forsaken me?" Then He trusted and turned and gave us all the gift of grace we could never earn.

The results were much different for the ones who focused on their circumstances. The disciples grew weary and slept, they rebuked and argued, cut off ears and denied that they ever knew Him. One even took his own life.  Their focus on their  circumstances caused them to loose heart, belief and faith.. it caused them to sin.. make mistakes.

This is why Jesus wants us to focus on Him and not our circumstances. When we focus on our circumstance's we can make the Messy Middle even messier.

If you think about it the bible is full of Messy Middle's. Here's just a few examples of people who made the middle messier.

Abraham and Sarah- Promised to be parents of many nations and during the Messy Middle Shara tried to fix it and it created a big mess. Yet, the Lord still followed through on His promise. Sarah messed up and was still chosen to be the Mother many nations.

Joseph and his brothers- Joseph shared a dream that made his brothers jealous. Instead of focusing on God to get their own dreams the brothers focused on their circumstances and sinned.. sold their brother to slavery. Joseph kept his focus on God for 13 years while enslaved and in prison. God kept His promise to Joseph while he struggled and delivered him to save many people.. even his brothers who tried to kill him.

Job- kept his focus on God while he endured many heartbreaking circumstances. He lost everything and did nothing to deserve it. He was tempted by his friends to blame himself and fix it. He trusted and turned and God explained and gave back twice as much as he lost.

I could go on.. what I want to point out is HOPE.. there's always hope in the Messy Middle. They struggled through the messy middles and still were called Hero's of faith! That is hope we can all hold on to. We need to understand, we all get lost in the Messy Middle. We also need to learn to turn to Jesus, the One who never get lost in the Messy Middle:)



The Father's heart for us!

We could never do anything to earn what He did for us on the cross. And what He does for us each and every moment while He sits in Heaven and in our Hearts:)

He chose to do so simply because It was His will to give us life and for us to live it abundantly! 

 

He died for us

He chose us

He loves us

He likes us

He knew us

He knows us

He wanted us 

He justifies us

He appoints us

He called us

He works all things together for our good:)

Christ arrives right on time to make this happen. He didn't, and doesn't, wait for us to get ready.

Thought of the day; Fasting hopelessness

 He presented himself for this sacrificial death when we were far too weak and rebellious to do anything to get ourselves ready. And even if we hadn't been so weak, we wouldn't have known what to do anyway. We can understand someone dying for a person worth dying for, and we can understand how someone good and noble could inspire us to selfless sacrifice. But God put his love on the line for us by offering his Son in sacrificial death while we were of no use whatever to him. (Romans 5:6-8 MSG)

Thought of the day: Fasting hopelessness 

I love the lyrics to this song"I knew what I was getting into when I called you"

"Just don't give up and don't give in.. If you don't quit, you win"

We all need to know He loves us not for anything we do or don't do.. He just does:)

Romans 5:8
The Message (MSG)
6-8 Christ arrives right on time to make this happen. He didn't, and doesn't, wait for us to get ready. He presented himself for this sacrificial death when we were far too weak and rebellious to do anything to get ourselves ready. And even if we hadn't been so weak, we wouldn't have known what to do anyway. We can understand someone dying for a person worth dying for, and we can understand how someone good and noble could inspire us to selfless sacrifice. But God put his love on the line for us by offering his Son in sacrificial death while we were of no use whatever to him.

Thought of the day: fasting hopelessness 

"Willing victim" such a true statement .. We must not be willing to be a victim. We must choose to be a victor! 

I choose to be a victor today not a willing victim:) 

It's our choice ..the little decisions of victor leads to a life full of freedom and abundant life!

My hope is found in Jesus, NOT Dr. Phil

Thought of the day; Fasting Hopelessness

My hope is found in Jesus, NOT in Dr. Phil

I am once again reminded that my hope is found in Jesus and not in anything of this world. 

I must admit, back in December when the Dr. Phil show called to invite my daughter Maddie on their show, that we had finally  found hope.

 Hope for medical care to help our daughter finally process her past trauma and grief. 

This week we were told that her treatment plan had ended. They feel like they have done all they can do to help her. Her treatment plan was learning how to breathe correctly to manage her anxiety. I was happy with this plan in the beginning because we thought this was necessary for her to learn to manage her anxiety and get to the next step. She was in desperate need of counseling that would help get to the root of the problem. Her trauma needed to be healed not managed for the rest of her life.

 I am very disappointed in how they cared for Maddie and her pain with such disregard. Looking back I see that they only wanted to show what unprocessed grief could look like if not dealt with and healed. They had no intentions of rolling up their sleeves to help her get to the root of the problem.

Which brings me to this... In the world of mental health, most doctors teach patients to deal with the symptoms. What I have learned with the "Great Physician, Jesus", is that He wants to get to the root of the problem. Dealing with the symptoms keep us in bondage. We must go back to the pain with Jesus and sometimes a trusted counselor to allow Him to give us healing and a different prospective. When we do this He gives us a perspective to live with the circumstances we can not change. 

With all this being said, I do believe that nothing is wasted with God. I believe He allowed the past events to occur that will produce good if I place it in His hands. I am reminded again that my hope is not found in this world. I confess that I was shifting my focus and placing my hope in Dr. Phil more than Jesus these past months. Lesson learned... Lord, forgive me for placing my hope in anything but you. I repent and ask that you forgive me. Now, Lord show me your hope for the daughter you love way more than I ever could this side of heaven. 

Help me refocus on you.. our only hope, our only deliverer, our great restorer. 

Our journey continues. I must settle on the fact that He did not want to restore her through the Dr. Phil show.  I am reminded of what He told me at the beginning of this journey. He said,

"The LORD himself will fight for you. Just stay calm."- Exodus 14:14

So, until I see her living in freedom I know He's still working it all out! 

The journey Continues.. and I know it's going somewhere good if He's in control. 

My Hope as a mother

Thought of the day: Fasting Hopelessness

My hope as a mother

I don't have to be perfect

just simply surrendered


I remember the first time I simply surrendered to Christ. 
It was moments after my sweet Jack went home to be with Jesus.
I was not aware at that time what was actually taking place in my heart. 
Looking back today, I see so clearly. 
Moments after we were told that Jack did not survive I began to pray.
My prayer was, Lord I am tired of wondering where I will go when I die. I want to settle this issue with you once and for all. Lord, I am not sure how this works.
 I just want to know from now on that I am yours
and
I am returning to my home in heaven because I want desperately to see my son again. 

 I was confessing that I was tired of trying to be perfect.
and admitted I needed a savior.

You see what brought about that prayer was the thought I had in church every Sunday before this very moment.
 The thought was, I wonder if Jesus remembers me?
I had been baptized at the age of 10 but thought the life I lived from that point on was a huge disappointment to God.
I had made many mistakes in my life and felt like God didn't really like me or even notice me.
 I just couldn't measure up.
My only hope was to remind Him each Sunday that I had been baptized as a child so my name should be on the guest list when I reach the pearly gates..right????
I was never settled with my salvation because I somehow thought I had to earn it by being perfect.
Truth is we will never be perfect. That is why we need a savior. 
I asked the Lord the other day to show me where He was that night Jack went home to heaven. He showed me a picture of Him with His arms around me holding me. He said, Julie I love you and have always loved you.. It's time you settle that once and for all. You cant earn my love. I love you simply because you are mine.. not because of what you do or what you have done. You have never disappointed me because I am never disappointed. I stand outside of time and know every detail about your life even the ones that disappoint you. Simply surrender to me and I will be the perfecter of your less than perfect life.
My hope is 
Christ in me.
I have learned that the most perfect me is me radically pursuing Jesus.. 
and it looks like this
A mother who stopped trying to be perfect 
and 
just simply surrendered to the only one who is perfect... 
Jesus

Jesus, help us surrender ..

Bring back your wonder
Bring back your song
I got it all wrong
I've pushed you down deep in my soul to long

A Prayer for the grieving heart

I wanted to share this wonderful prayer that expresses our hearts during times of grief.

written by Steve Stockman

In a week like this

LORD, we come to the end of another week 

Except that it hasn't been just another week

It has been the worst week of our lives

and even worse for some

LORD, help us to be Honest, Vulnerable, and somehow Hopeful in the reflection of our feelings.

LORD, we have been shocked

Shocked by how one tiny second can tear our lives apart

Shocked by how far humanity can fall

Shocked by how callous and painful our actions can be, how low we can stoop.

LORD, we are grieving

Grieving for the loss of lives with so much love and energy still to give

Grieving for the man and woman and child we will never be able to to hold again

Grieving that our history is so sad and twisted.

LORD, we are confused 

Confused at why this should happen

Confused about how this should happen to the innocent

Confused about where You and Faith enter into these events.

LORD, we have been angry

Angry at why we allowed our family and friends to go shopping 

Angry at how evil people could rip our world asunder

Angry that you allowed it to happen.

LORD, we are seeking

Seeking some kind of feeble consolation in the midst of our deluge of tears

Seeking some kind of Hope that good might come from this evil

Seeking your spirit, Whom Jesus called a Comforter, to whisper into our Maddening Silence.

LORD, we are squinting for Faith

Faith that the majority might have some kind of a say in the future

Faith that Love will end our Hate, Good will end our evil,

and Grace will touch our broken hearts

Faith in a God who is as angry as we are

and who is reaching out His hand to us.

LORD, we are remembering

Remembering those who today can no longer be shocked, grieved, be angry, be confused, seek or squint for faith

Remembering that you watched as your Son, covered in blood, died at the futile whim of injustice

Remembering that His death is the only thing we can grope after in the dark of a week like this.

LORD, we have planted our loved ones deep in the bloody earth of Ireland this week

We have watered them with our tears

LORD, may You allow them to be seeds of a LOVE that will grow into our Peace.

LORD, Remember us.

Amen.

The Thin Line - Steve Stockman